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This seems so hopeless
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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 249680" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>Yes- for right now and based on the details. I started seeing her at the end of last year. That might seem like a long enough period of time to get to my issues, but it has been one difficult child crisis after another so instead of me even giving her the details about my history with therapy, concerns, etc, we've always ended up talking about the current crisis. So, she offered to get into more detail in her letter but I asked her not to because I don't think it could be too accurate and I don't want to end up with an order for something that is based on an incomplete assessment. I asked her to just keep it basic and simple. </p><p></p><p>She does know the "major" stuff about my history and knows that I've been to therapy before to work on stuff. We just haven't gotten into type of therapy, where I got in the process, specificaly how this plays out in my life. Shoot, I haven't even decided yet that she's the right therapist to deal with those things until we start going through that. Basicly, the therapy I had a long time ago was VERY effective and I need a therapist who can start with that. If I get one that wants to re-invent the wheel, so to speak, I will run. LOL!! I will seek another one though. </p><p></p><p>She didn't encourage me not taking the test, but did seem to understand and agree where this was leading and realized that I'm not just trying to be defiant, when I asked her to write a letter. Besides knowing how PO is, which I guess is just her personality and being used to working with people who don't do anything without being ordered, I have a big problem with someone else trying to dictate and control any treatment plan for me. My previous ttherapist taught me that control and repsonsibility go hand in hand. If my mental health is my responsibility, then I'll be darned if I can ever go along with someone else taking control of it. It was a pretty intensive therapy that I had and the therapist told me to make sure that if I ever got back into all those issues again, to make sure the therapist was taking the same approach or else it could leave me worse than how I started to begin with. I whole-heartedly agree with that, even now. But, I'm not so sure that all my previous issues need to be revisited. I just think that maybe there are some ways that they are still effecting me and therefore, maybe they are effecting my parenting. I don't think so, but I want to be sure. And, there is the obvious current depression and anxiety so I would feel more comfortable having someone address these things who can understand better where I'm coming from. The initial plan and agreed upon idea was to cover some of these things, then integrate into some family therapy with difficult child and his therapist. My therapist used to be difficult child's therapist (before this incident) supervisor but they don't work together anymore.</p><p></p><p>Sorry- I wrote a lot more than I needed to. The other thought- it appears that I could advocate for difficult child coming home now, with PO and in home therapist. But, I won't (unless I have a BIG) change of heart. Even though this is the Department of Juvenile Justice road to Residential Treatment Center (RTC) (which probably would never really lead there), it leaves us back where we were, except worse, as far as stress and court orders and on top of it, now they would be ordering a specific therapist for a specific therapy for me that would be based on one written test and nothing else. When they tried this with mst guy, they talk like they are so reasonable, if you can't meet at a certain time one week, you automatically hear about the court order and noncompliance, and so forth. It's ridiculous.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 249680, member: 3699"] Yes- for right now and based on the details. I started seeing her at the end of last year. That might seem like a long enough period of time to get to my issues, but it has been one difficult child crisis after another so instead of me even giving her the details about my history with therapy, concerns, etc, we've always ended up talking about the current crisis. So, she offered to get into more detail in her letter but I asked her not to because I don't think it could be too accurate and I don't want to end up with an order for something that is based on an incomplete assessment. I asked her to just keep it basic and simple. She does know the "major" stuff about my history and knows that I've been to therapy before to work on stuff. We just haven't gotten into type of therapy, where I got in the process, specificaly how this plays out in my life. Shoot, I haven't even decided yet that she's the right therapist to deal with those things until we start going through that. Basicly, the therapy I had a long time ago was VERY effective and I need a therapist who can start with that. If I get one that wants to re-invent the wheel, so to speak, I will run. LOL!! I will seek another one though. She didn't encourage me not taking the test, but did seem to understand and agree where this was leading and realized that I'm not just trying to be defiant, when I asked her to write a letter. Besides knowing how PO is, which I guess is just her personality and being used to working with people who don't do anything without being ordered, I have a big problem with someone else trying to dictate and control any treatment plan for me. My previous ttherapist taught me that control and repsonsibility go hand in hand. If my mental health is my responsibility, then I'll be darned if I can ever go along with someone else taking control of it. It was a pretty intensive therapy that I had and the therapist told me to make sure that if I ever got back into all those issues again, to make sure the therapist was taking the same approach or else it could leave me worse than how I started to begin with. I whole-heartedly agree with that, even now. But, I'm not so sure that all my previous issues need to be revisited. I just think that maybe there are some ways that they are still effecting me and therefore, maybe they are effecting my parenting. I don't think so, but I want to be sure. And, there is the obvious current depression and anxiety so I would feel more comfortable having someone address these things who can understand better where I'm coming from. The initial plan and agreed upon idea was to cover some of these things, then integrate into some family therapy with difficult child and his therapist. My therapist used to be difficult child's therapist (before this incident) supervisor but they don't work together anymore. Sorry- I wrote a lot more than I needed to. The other thought- it appears that I could advocate for difficult child coming home now, with PO and in home therapist. But, I won't (unless I have a BIG) change of heart. Even though this is the Department of Juvenile Justice road to Residential Treatment Center (RTC) (which probably would never really lead there), it leaves us back where we were, except worse, as far as stress and court orders and on top of it, now they would be ordering a specific therapist for a specific therapy for me that would be based on one written test and nothing else. When they tried this with mst guy, they talk like they are so reasonable, if you can't meet at a certain time one week, you automatically hear about the court order and noncompliance, and so forth. It's ridiculous. [/QUOTE]
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