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General Parenting
Thought I'd vent if anyone cares to read it...
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 383022" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I am sorry things are so awful for him. He must be really terrified by all of this. He is old enough to understand a lot of it and I bet the docs forget that while he can understand what the words mean, he is still very young to actually be able to cope with those meanings. Docs can be real idiots (I still fume over the doctor who told us last Dec for my daughter to just imagine herself running and playing - that is all that she needs to deal with the pain of a very painful movement disorder that causes extreme muscle spasms. He couldn't figure out why I wanted pain control or felt she had a "right" to adequate pain control and a decent quality of life. I am STILL fighting for that for her. So I TOTALLY understand what you are saying.</p><p> </p><p>I would be VERY unhappy about the valium. IF given long term one of the most common side effects of valium (diazepam) is depression. I had a doctor give me enough to sedate a horse and after four weeks all I did was sit, stare, sleep, and cry. I did NOTHING else. It was a HUGE behavioral change, and the doctor couldn't figure out why it bothered not only me, but the rest of my family and friends also. He wanted to triple my dose of it to treat the depression.</p><p> </p><p>YOU are the expert in your child. PERIOD. Not only did he live inside you for months, you spend all day with him or working to provide for his needs. The docs see him for 5-30 mins every month or so (it is every 3-6 mos for the specialists here!) and they like to think they know our kids better than we do. It is hogwash and we know it! Do NOT go with anything that your instincts scream is wrong. IF it is a medication that you think is the problem, you MUST MUST MUST have doctor guidelines to stop them - some, like valium, can kill if stopped suddenly. </p><p> </p><p>One thing that may help you - in my signature at the bottom of this post there is a link to a Parent Report. Moms here worked out an outline a few years back that lets you keep all the info about your child in ONE place. It is a total blessing because there is no hunting for all the documents or copies of tests, letters, etc... His whole history is there so you can fill out all that new patient info, and you can keep copies on hand to give whatever parts to those working with you that they need. Just be SURE to only give them what they need. Some people have had some of the info used against them. Our pediatrician had a copy of the entire thing back when my son was at his worst. She isn't our pediatrician anymore because she used a LOT of the info against my daughter. That is another long story, no need to go into it now.</p><p> </p><p>Anyway, the report can be used just as easily for medical problems like seizures as for other difficult child issues, so I recommend writing one. I honestly don't know what I would do with-o it.</p><p> </p><p>Lots of us like a book called "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. WHile your difficult child's behaviors seem to come clearly from the medications, they still have to be dealt with. This book will give you some excellent ways to cope. I also suggest reading "Parenting with love and Logic" by Fay and Cline. Both may be helpful.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 383022, member: 1233"] I am sorry things are so awful for him. He must be really terrified by all of this. He is old enough to understand a lot of it and I bet the docs forget that while he can understand what the words mean, he is still very young to actually be able to cope with those meanings. Docs can be real idiots (I still fume over the doctor who told us last Dec for my daughter to just imagine herself running and playing - that is all that she needs to deal with the pain of a very painful movement disorder that causes extreme muscle spasms. He couldn't figure out why I wanted pain control or felt she had a "right" to adequate pain control and a decent quality of life. I am STILL fighting for that for her. So I TOTALLY understand what you are saying. I would be VERY unhappy about the valium. IF given long term one of the most common side effects of valium (diazepam) is depression. I had a doctor give me enough to sedate a horse and after four weeks all I did was sit, stare, sleep, and cry. I did NOTHING else. It was a HUGE behavioral change, and the doctor couldn't figure out why it bothered not only me, but the rest of my family and friends also. He wanted to triple my dose of it to treat the depression. YOU are the expert in your child. PERIOD. Not only did he live inside you for months, you spend all day with him or working to provide for his needs. The docs see him for 5-30 mins every month or so (it is every 3-6 mos for the specialists here!) and they like to think they know our kids better than we do. It is hogwash and we know it! Do NOT go with anything that your instincts scream is wrong. IF it is a medication that you think is the problem, you MUST MUST MUST have doctor guidelines to stop them - some, like valium, can kill if stopped suddenly. One thing that may help you - in my signature at the bottom of this post there is a link to a Parent Report. Moms here worked out an outline a few years back that lets you keep all the info about your child in ONE place. It is a total blessing because there is no hunting for all the documents or copies of tests, letters, etc... His whole history is there so you can fill out all that new patient info, and you can keep copies on hand to give whatever parts to those working with you that they need. Just be SURE to only give them what they need. Some people have had some of the info used against them. Our pediatrician had a copy of the entire thing back when my son was at his worst. She isn't our pediatrician anymore because she used a LOT of the info against my daughter. That is another long story, no need to go into it now. Anyway, the report can be used just as easily for medical problems like seizures as for other difficult child issues, so I recommend writing one. I honestly don't know what I would do with-o it. Lots of us like a book called "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. WHile your difficult child's behaviors seem to come clearly from the medications, they still have to be dealt with. This book will give you some excellent ways to cope. I also suggest reading "Parenting with love and Logic" by Fay and Cline. Both may be helpful. [/QUOTE]
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