Thoughts About difficult child Helping Coach easy child

[Bunny]

easy child plays several sports, and he plays for the same coach for both football and baseball. The coach's son and easy child are best buddies and they love being able to play their sports together, and the coach just seems to have a fantastic way with the kids. They all love him.

Last night at easy child's baseball game I was talking to the coach's wife (she and I have become very friendly since easy child started playing for him) and she was asking how difficult child was doing. We were talking about how difficult child wants to find a job over the summer and that I think this is a good idea because it will give him something to do. The coach came over and suggested that when football starts in July have difficult child help him with coaching duties.

While I think it's not a bad suggestion, my concern is that these sports are things that easy child does away from the problems that difficult child brings with him. While I think that difficult child would treat the other kids on the team in an okay manner, I'm not so sure now he would do coaching easy child. I haven't brought it up husband or to difficult child or easy child yet. I'm still mulling it over in my mind what I think about it. The coach thinks that it will do difficult child world of good. One certain levels I agree with him. But as the experienced mother of a difficult child, I'm not sure if it's a good idea for easy child.

Any thoughts?

 

[SuZir]

I don't think it would be a good idea for either of them. As you said, it would take away from easy child's away time from difficult child but it would also take away from difficult child. It wouldn't be something he does and can be proud of, it would still be a thing where easy child is 'a star' and he is a towel boy. I wouldn't put my kids to that position and they get along very well.

 

[DaisyFace]

Ugh!

My opinion? No.

easy child needs some sacred space *away* from his brother...something that is his, and his alone, that will not be marred by difficult child drama in any way.

I'm sure the coach means well - but he probably does not understand difficult children and difficult child drama.

Let your difficult child get a job doing something that is HIS - and his alone - that easy child will not be involved with.

Let the brothers' behaviors and choices be unto themselves - and not affect one another's successes, pride, or disappointments.

Just my $.02.

 

[Bunny]

Thank you both. I was thinking along those very same lines, but husband says that I tend worry too much. I want them to have their own separate experiences. Yes, there are times when they do things together, like play hockey in the driveway, but I think it's essential for easy child to not have to be tied to difficult child all of the time.

Thank you for confirming my thoughts. I appreciate it.

 

[dstc_99]

Is there a way difficult child could help with a different team? Considering their ages and the issues difficult child has maybe the coach could recommend him as an assistant to another coach. We have a youth league here with 8 teams and they all have different coaches if you have something similar it might be something worth looking in to. That way difficult child gets the experience and easy child keeps his sacred ground.