Thoughts on detachment

T

toughlovin

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What an amazing group of warrior parents we have here. Thank you all for some of your recent thoughts and ideas. They have been incredibly helpful to me. Star your post in the Nancy thread really gave me hope. Thank you for that. My son is currently doing ok I think but I do feel sad about the state of our relationship. I really hope some day we can be closer again and have a real relationship. It is tough now even though currently he is sober but your post gave me hope.

I am not sure where I heard it, I think it was on this board somewhere, that the little boy I keep hoping will come back won't... he is a different man now and I need to accept that and accept him for who he is. That was a jolt but is also true.... I have this fantasy of what he was like when he was little and who he could be... and I need to accept him for who he is, whatever that is.

Barbara your posts have been powerful and also true. I don't really know who my son is and who he will become, it certainly won't be my fantasy..... but he definitely has a lighter, positive, good side to him and that is the one I need to speak to. I don't need to speak to the darker, scary, drug addicted side. As you said I can give that side the cold shoulder. Actually that is pretty easy right now since he is out of state so if that is the side that calls i can just get off the phone.

You have all been so helpful.... and it is incredibly helpful to knowk that i am not alone in the difficulty of this journey.
 
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