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Thoughts on detachment
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<blockquote data-quote="Nancy" data-source="post: 408134" data-attributes="member: 59"><p>Wow is this pertinent tonight especially. Thank you for your insight toughlovin and i agree with what you said. I think I had sort of an epiphany tonight when I finally felt free and ready to go on with my life, in spite of the fact that my difficult child has been kicked out of the house and is spiralling out of control. For me I have to find a way to reclaim my life, to find those things that made me happy before all this insanity, and to be able to put the fears I have for difficult child in a compartment which I will not open very often.</p><p></p><p>I found myself not being able to get through the day worrying about what she would eat or where she would sleep, and then I would see her posting messages to her fb friends about getting high and getting her tongue pierced and having a ball and I realized I was the only one in this relationship that worried about her, certainly she wasn't. So I had to ask myself why I was so worried if she was happy with her life, and I decided that I needed to stop that insanity. I will always love her. I will always worry about her. If I allow that compartment to open a crack I will even find myself in a panic. But I need to do my best to keep that closed so that She understands she cannot compromise those boundaries that I set.</p><p></p><p>AHF thank you for that post. I hope to achieve that kind of grace and peace too. My difficult child told me today that she was going to kill herslef and when I saw her dead body I could thank myself for it. A calm finally came over me and I told her that I hoped she didn't kill herself but that the drugs and alcohol were killing her anyway and I couldn't stop that. In the end if her life ended today I would grieve but I would hopefully know that I have done everything I could and it is not my fault. I think I have peace about that.</p><p></p><p>I love you all. You have no idea how you have helped me.</p><p></p><p>Nancy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nancy, post: 408134, member: 59"] Wow is this pertinent tonight especially. Thank you for your insight toughlovin and i agree with what you said. I think I had sort of an epiphany tonight when I finally felt free and ready to go on with my life, in spite of the fact that my difficult child has been kicked out of the house and is spiralling out of control. For me I have to find a way to reclaim my life, to find those things that made me happy before all this insanity, and to be able to put the fears I have for difficult child in a compartment which I will not open very often. I found myself not being able to get through the day worrying about what she would eat or where she would sleep, and then I would see her posting messages to her fb friends about getting high and getting her tongue pierced and having a ball and I realized I was the only one in this relationship that worried about her, certainly she wasn't. So I had to ask myself why I was so worried if she was happy with her life, and I decided that I needed to stop that insanity. I will always love her. I will always worry about her. If I allow that compartment to open a crack I will even find myself in a panic. But I need to do my best to keep that closed so that She understands she cannot compromise those boundaries that I set. AHF thank you for that post. I hope to achieve that kind of grace and peace too. My difficult child told me today that she was going to kill herslef and when I saw her dead body I could thank myself for it. A calm finally came over me and I told her that I hoped she didn't kill herself but that the drugs and alcohol were killing her anyway and I couldn't stop that. In the end if her life ended today I would grieve but I would hopefully know that I have done everything I could and it is not my fault. I think I have peace about that. I love you all. You have no idea how you have helped me. Nancy [/QUOTE]
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