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Substance Abuse
Thoughts on giving up....
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<blockquote data-quote="lovemysons" data-source="post: 549736" data-attributes="member: 3305"><p>TL, </p><p>I am SO GLAD you have gotten to this point. </p><p>I remember in Al Anon they taught me that my will can get in the way of G-ds. </p><p></p><p>We want so much for them to be sober, thinking soberly, living soberly...but relying on G-d in their hearts and minds to live a new life MUST come from within them...not us. </p><p></p><p>My mother ALL THE TIME...is trying to lay out a plan to "save" my young difficult child when he comes home. I have to repeatedly remind her that my young difficult child has to want this for himself! I can't do it for him. He has been shown the "way"...Just as your son has. We have pointed them in the right direction...we have spoken all the right words...we have LOVED THEM ENOUGH. And...it does not change anything until they are ready to get serious. </p><p></p><p>For me and my sobriety, AA was the key. It was an education too. I shut my mouth and listened! Really REALLY listened. I so wanted to hear how others had overcome...how they were living one day at a time with sobriety no matter their past pains, current problems, or unknown future events. I took notes feverishly at meetings/speaker meetings. I highlighted in my little books left and right. I REALLY wanted to learn. More than ever...and I wanted it for me...and yes, a part of me wanted it for my son's too, sigh. </p><p></p><p>But it is in their hands. Just as we take them to church. We teach them about right and wrong, about compassion and helping others, about doing "good". But at the end of the day, the relationship between any human being and the G-d of their understanding is in their hands...it is a personal relationship. One that we don't get to dictate for them. </p><p>And it is in my humble opinion that way with sobriety. We take them to the treatment facilities, the rehabs, the EGBS, church schools, etc...on and on. And yet, they have to yearn for their OWN sobriety...it comes from within them, not outside themselves. We have surrounded them with the answers...but they have to want them. </p><p></p><p>I so wish that a Mother's love, that her pain and sorrow, were enough to get a son/daughter sober. </p><p>If that were the case...none of us would be here. But they have to seek and search for themselves. They have to desperately ask G-d to help them, in my opinion. </p><p></p><p>Thinking of you, </p><p>LMS</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="lovemysons, post: 549736, member: 3305"] TL, I am SO GLAD you have gotten to this point. I remember in Al Anon they taught me that my will can get in the way of G-ds. We want so much for them to be sober, thinking soberly, living soberly...but relying on G-d in their hearts and minds to live a new life MUST come from within them...not us. My mother ALL THE TIME...is trying to lay out a plan to "save" my young difficult child when he comes home. I have to repeatedly remind her that my young difficult child has to want this for himself! I can't do it for him. He has been shown the "way"...Just as your son has. We have pointed them in the right direction...we have spoken all the right words...we have LOVED THEM ENOUGH. And...it does not change anything until they are ready to get serious. For me and my sobriety, AA was the key. It was an education too. I shut my mouth and listened! Really REALLY listened. I so wanted to hear how others had overcome...how they were living one day at a time with sobriety no matter their past pains, current problems, or unknown future events. I took notes feverishly at meetings/speaker meetings. I highlighted in my little books left and right. I REALLY wanted to learn. More than ever...and I wanted it for me...and yes, a part of me wanted it for my son's too, sigh. But it is in their hands. Just as we take them to church. We teach them about right and wrong, about compassion and helping others, about doing "good". But at the end of the day, the relationship between any human being and the G-d of their understanding is in their hands...it is a personal relationship. One that we don't get to dictate for them. And it is in my humble opinion that way with sobriety. We take them to the treatment facilities, the rehabs, the EGBS, church schools, etc...on and on. And yet, they have to yearn for their OWN sobriety...it comes from within them, not outside themselves. We have surrounded them with the answers...but they have to want them. I so wish that a Mother's love, that her pain and sorrow, were enough to get a son/daughter sober. If that were the case...none of us would be here. But they have to seek and search for themselves. They have to desperately ask G-d to help them, in my opinion. Thinking of you, LMS [/QUOTE]
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