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Substance Abuse
Thoughts on recent posts Mk II
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 552713" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>I'm getting little off topic here, but I think this is very important point with our difficult children, especially with addicted difficult children. Even when they are doing great we are really always waiting for other shoe to drop, waiting for a call that everything is in chaos again. With my difficult child things are still very bumpy, he is very young, even more so immature and while he is doing great in many ways, setbacks are frequent. So I really have a very good reason to wait the other shoe to drop. </p><p></p><p>But what about if difficult child's and my dreams come true? If he will be doing great a longer period of time? God forbid, what about if he succeeds on his sport dreams and ends up with money and fame? He is now doing well with shoestring budget, lots of support and guidance. But what about if he ends up with more money than he needs? I mean, if you make high six figures or seven figures a year, how much easier it is to think that it doesn't matter, if you loose some of it in poker table. As long as you just have fun. And everyone else is doing it too! Of course in reality for the gambling addict no income is high enough to finance the habit, they just gamble with higher stakes. And compulsive gambling is about so much more than money. It is about time, the mind frame, mental health, about being addicted. But how can I ever stop waiting for other shoe to drop? Especially if he does so well that he does have that money and temptation. </p><p></p><p>So even if he does well, even if he does so for a long time, I'm likely to worry and be cautious. And is that fair to him? Him working so hard, doing all the right things, doing so well and me there, always doubting, always being cautious over something he screwed up when he was a kid. In some point that will be counter-productive and make things only more difficult for him. If your mother doesn't believe on you, who does? And how can he believe on himself if no one else does?</p><p></p><p>So we are damned if we do, damned if we don't. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/sigh.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":sigh:" title="sigh :sigh:" data-shortname=":sigh:" /> Then again, no one did promise me that parenting would be easy and fun...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 552713, member: 14557"] I'm getting little off topic here, but I think this is very important point with our difficult children, especially with addicted difficult children. Even when they are doing great we are really always waiting for other shoe to drop, waiting for a call that everything is in chaos again. With my difficult child things are still very bumpy, he is very young, even more so immature and while he is doing great in many ways, setbacks are frequent. So I really have a very good reason to wait the other shoe to drop. But what about if difficult child's and my dreams come true? If he will be doing great a longer period of time? God forbid, what about if he succeeds on his sport dreams and ends up with money and fame? He is now doing well with shoestring budget, lots of support and guidance. But what about if he ends up with more money than he needs? I mean, if you make high six figures or seven figures a year, how much easier it is to think that it doesn't matter, if you loose some of it in poker table. As long as you just have fun. And everyone else is doing it too! Of course in reality for the gambling addict no income is high enough to finance the habit, they just gamble with higher stakes. And compulsive gambling is about so much more than money. It is about time, the mind frame, mental health, about being addicted. But how can I ever stop waiting for other shoe to drop? Especially if he does so well that he does have that money and temptation. So even if he does well, even if he does so for a long time, I'm likely to worry and be cautious. And is that fair to him? Him working so hard, doing all the right things, doing so well and me there, always doubting, always being cautious over something he screwed up when he was a kid. In some point that will be counter-productive and make things only more difficult for him. If your mother doesn't believe on you, who does? And how can he believe on himself if no one else does? So we are damned if we do, damned if we don't. :sigh: Then again, no one did promise me that parenting would be easy and fun... [/QUOTE]
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