Time for a raise...

[hearts and roses]

I hate asking for raises. I hate having my annual review, I just hate all of that. I used to work at the utility company on LI, a million years ago, and I had to be part of the Workers Union. The raises were automatic every 6 months like clockwork. If you got a promotion, then you'd get a little more money. Otherwise, there were none of those uncomfortable sit downs and discussions about strengths and weakenesses, negotiations about what I want and what the boss will give. Ugh.

I was due for my annual review in April. I reminded Boss in June, July, August, September, October and again last week. Each time he says, "Oh yes, we have to sit down, don't we? How 'bout next week when I get back from Timbucktoo?" I say okay, next week comes and goes and no sit-down. It's not so much that I need the sit down. I've been doing the same job for 11 years this January and another 4 more before those 10 for the same man in the same industry. I can do my job blind folded - there really aren't any surprises. I am well trusted and respected by my co-workers, my boss, our business colleagues and associates. I do my well and am easy to talk to and people in this office and our other two offices always come to me first when there is a question or problem. I've trained everyone personally who works under me, and some who work over me. I know just about every single aspect of this company and how to run it. I am the only one who does the books for 7 different accounts, most of them escrow, and I do all the payroll and human resources, plus I administer the healthy coverage plans we negotiate each year with our agent. I do not think that I need to have a sit-down. in my opinion, it is what it is and basically, "JUST GIVE ME MY RAISE". Know what I mean????

So, why, oh why, am I so nervous-in-the-belly when it comes time to say, "Boss, will we bea ble to make time today to sit down and talk?"

by the way, my boss is also my brother in law whom I have known for 33 years! I met him when I was 12. I've worked for him for 14 years. He's been married to my loco sister for 28 of those 33 years. I mean, this should not be so nerve wracking for me.

Any words of encouragement are appreciated. ♥

 

[HereWeGoAgain]

I hate 'em too.

Probably when it's all over you'll be thinking "Now why did I get so nervous about that?"

 

[busywend]

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> 11 years this January and another 4 more before those 10 for the same man in the same industry. I can do my job blind folded - there really aren't any surprises. I am well trusted and respected by my co-workers, my boss, our business colleagues and associates. I do my well and am easy to talk to and people in this office and our other two offices always come to me first when there is a question or problem. I've trained everyone personally who works under me, and some who work over me. I know just about every single aspect of this company and how to run it. I am the only one who does the books for 7 different accounts, most of them escrow, and I do all the payroll and human resources, plus I administer the healthy coverage plans we negotiate each year with our agent.</div></div>

Revise the words a bit to not sound frustrated and you have your 'asking for a raise' speech. Just list why/how you are so great and valuable to him! SELL YOURSELF!!!
Schedule the meeting yourself. No need to ask for a sit down. Just put it on his calendar.

 

[Hound dog]

Jo

Maybe if you REMIND yourself all thru the sit down meeting part that this IS your brother in law and you've known him since you were 12, it will go a bit easier.

If I was that valuable an asset to the company, honey I'd be telling brother in law we needed to have that sit down yesterday so hop to it and figure out how much you're gonna pay to keep me doing my job so darn well. Otherwise I might start having memory lapses and you just don't know WHAT will happen then.

I'd be hard pressed to not speak my mind to family.

You need to build up your confidence. You ARE a valuable asset to this co. That is obvious. You need to act like it. Carry the confidence you have for your work right into that meeting with you.

Those meetings stink. Way back when, when I used to work in a hospital we did it that way. First year I was a wreck. Second year both head nurse and I knew no one could do the job as well as I could. I was no wreck the second year. I carrying the confidence of someone who could not only do the job, but better than anyone else right into that office with me. lol

When time came that I had to quit because husband and I were relocating to oh, she all but got on her hands and knees and begged me to stay. You wouldn't believe the offers she was making. Heck I didn't believe the offers she was making. :rofl:

Go get 'em girl! :warrior:

 

[KFld]

Since it's your brother in law, maybe you could put the request in his xmas card?? Just kidding.

I'm the same way you are. I get so nervous about stuff like that.

I work at a place that goes by Union Scale. No raises in between, so I never have to worry about asking for one. It's automatic.

 

[susiestar]

Look up negotiating raises on google. This will arm yourself with the tools to get a big raise. You deserve it. Sounds like the company would be in a world of hurt if you left. Let them know this.

Put it on his calendar, or surprise him at lunch with it. Either way, you do no service to YOUR FAMILY by letting brother in law get away with this. Does he do this to other employees? Or just you because you are "family"?

Anyway, get it over with so it isn't looming over you. And you CAN negotiate a bigger raise, you just need to do some research and get your ducks in a row. Working on this with husband now.

Hugs,

Susie

 

[LittleDudesMom]

I think if I were in your shoes and had A) known my boss since I was a kid and B) worked for him for eleven years, I would just go in his office and shut the door. Then I would just say "Bob, I've been up for my annual review since April. I've asked you monthly since then for the time to sit down a conduct the review. It's now 7 months past due. Since we have known each other for eons, let's just put all this review stuff aside and talk about my past due raise!"

That's what I would do. You are quite clearly an intregal part of this business who, in my opinion, is being taken advantage of by being put off for so long regarding your review and your raise. Stand up for what you are so deserving of. It's yours - you earned it.

Sharon

 

[Star*]

I was thinking what Buzy wrote was good, and then what Sharon wrote was good and then I sat and thought

I haven't been given a raise since APRIL? I'm the bookkeeper?

I would figure out what my current wage SHOULD have been in April
I would subtract that figure from what it IS

I would take that amount and multiply it by a 40 hour week

Times how many ever weeks it's been since April (weekly or biweekly) pay.

Write "Bob" up an invoice and tell him that you can either start sending him a bill for back pay-

Or he can just give you what you and he BOTH know you deserve and
divide the amount to be payed in quarterly installments until the debt is settled.

Basically you're getting ripped off - you know it, Mr. Goes to Timbucktoo knows it and he probably paid for that trip with the money he saved NOT paying you on time -

LET HIM HAVE IT! both barrels.

and YES - I did this to MY boss and instead of getting a measly .50 or $1.00 raise I told him what he would have to give me to make up for the time loss deficit. Ended up being a 4.25 hr raise.

Don't play with my money!

 

[goldenguru]

I think having your boss be family would really complicate the issue. In the back of my mind, I would be afraid that if he said "NO" it would negatively impact the family relationship. This would explain much of the anxiety in my opinion.

On the other hand - if you feel you're due for a raise, then make an appointment and present your case.

It is not very professional that your boss/brother in law keeps putting you off.

We had a family business for almost 20 years. Working with/for family always, always, always made things more difficult.

 

[trinityroyal]

Jo,

Star, Susie and Sharon make very good points.

Negotiating a raise is usually a nerve-wracking event. And the fact that your boss is your brother in law complicates matters, because there are personal emotions involved as well as all of the other ones that come with asking your boss for more money.

If you do the calculations that Star recommends then you'll have concrete numbers in your head, which makes the negotiating process a lot easier.

Since you work with books and numbers, the following technique might work well for you:
1) Figure out what you think is a fair wage (Star's calculations are a good starting point for that)
2) Come up with a figure that's about 25% higher than that, or whatever you think you can get away with asking for
3) Decide on the minimum raise you're willing to accept.

Make sure that you have all of the numbers clear in your head. Start the discussion asking for figure 2 -- the big brazen one. When your boss tries to talk you down, he will more than likely mention something in the neighbourhood of figure 3. When you discuss it back and forth, you'll probably end up somewhere close to figure 1, which is what you considered fair in the first place.

(I work on contract and can change jobs 3 or 4 times per year, depending on the client, the market, etc. so I get a lot of practice at this, and I'm usually pleasantly surprised by how well this works.)

Everyone has given you good advice about just scheduling the meeting and getting it over with. The longer you let it go, the harder it will be to discuss with your brother in law, and the more frustrated you'll become.

 

[hearts and roses]

I think I should tell the other half of this story! Hahaha - thanks for all the support!!

I took this job shortly after my separation from exh and for all practical purposes its been the perfect job. It's 10 minutes from home. In the past I have worked from home to care for difficult child over the years; my girls have come to work with me when I had to be in the office; I have flexible hours when necessary; I get a paid one hour lunch and our health premiums are 80% paid by the company; I also get a car allowance which covers my car loan; I have 25 vacation days a year in addition to paid holidays; we get a holiday/end of year bonus - a HEALTHY one. If I need an advance on my bonus, I ask and it is given.

It's not like I work in a windowless basement under grueling conditions...no heat in winter, no a/c in summer. It's a really nice office building and I have THE corner office (all windows) with a door that closes so I can have privacy. Plus, I also have about $10,000 leftover from our old Profit Sharing program that was rolled over into my 401K when the company expanded. I also have a lot of say in company policy and Boss discusses mostly all that stuff with me to see what I think. It's actually a nice job. I feel that I am deserving of a raise, a substantial one, but I don't feel like I've been taken advantage of at all. It's just this waiting is killing me. And I do feel a little pressure these days since I no longer get child support, which is a pretty big decrease in my income, and with the added college loans, etc., I can't make ends meet on what I make alone. And it's not like we're living high off the hog. We live very simply and I am always trying to find ways of cutting costs so that I can squirrel a little away, you know?

Anyway, there is another guy who was also up for his annual in April and his hasn't been done yet. I don't think it's so much personal against me just because I'm family. I think it's two things - he REALLY is very busy traveling for business AND he figures when we tire of waiting, we will ask. Incidentally, I have to give reviews for a couple of underlings and I always make sure we're within a week of the anniversary date because I know how hard it is to live paycheck to paycheck and how much it blows.

on the other hand, I was told by my old counselor that my loco sister who is married to "bob" has narcissistic personality disorder and I truly believe that she may be part of my nervousness as well as some of his apprehension to just have the darned meeting and do it already! She's a manipulator and she has a way of whispering things in his ears that skew his views about others. I know for a fact she has done this with me in the past.

This other guy doesn't seem to mind that he's been waiting all this time and I am fairly certain that he will ask for retro pay when the time finally does arrive for him. He will ask for retro back to April and expect it. I can't help but feel ballsy for asking the same - you are right Star, I should remind him that he owes me from April the difference. Boss pays others retro when their time is due so why not me?

Karen, it's funny you said that thing about the Christmas card, because one year when I was TWO YEARS overdue for my review, I actually told my sister that I couldn't exchange gifts because money was tight. You'd think she'd say something to him. Instead she said okay and brought gifts to my house anyway - but I was on to her and had already snagged a few for her kids anyway also (she does stuff like that so she can look grand while you look like a shlump). I didn't want my kids to open gifts and hers have nothing - this was when they were much younger.

Anyway, I am going in to the office early tomorrow and maybe he will be in early also - I will try and snag him before the office starts rocking. Thanks again all!

 

[Suz]

Jo....you posted on another thread about not inviting loco sis and family to Thanksgiving....I think I'd secure my raise before I did that. :laugh:

Good luck!

Suz

 

[hearts and roses]

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Suz</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Jo....you posted on another thread about not inviting loco sis and family to Thanksgiving....I think I'd secure my raise before I did that. :laugh:

Good luck!

Suz </div></div>

:rofl: Bwaaahaaaahaaa - that is funny. You are right, I need to keep that in mind tomorrow! by the way, Wish me luck, for tomorrow is the day, MUST be the day because I leave on Thursday for our trip and I could sure use the extra dollars ...lol

 

[Stella Johnson]

I hate those too. I think you should state everything you mentioned in your post. :thumb: You sound like a great employee. They are lucky to have you.

Steph