time for me to join in

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by dirtmama, Jan 29, 2010.

  1. dirtmama

    dirtmama New Member

    Hello everyone! I guess it's time for me to join in. I've been returning here constantly as I scrounge for information on how to help my son(s) and our family. I have an awesome son that's 8, 3rd grade, gifted, diagnosed with- severe adhd 2 yrs ago and more recently behavoir disorder not otherwise specified, sleep disorder not otherwise specified also. We are in the process of diagnosis. He's on concerta 54mg. (he's only 50 lbs) and clonidine at night. He's got major impulsivity issues still. He's getting into alot of trouble and has a hard time socially. Starting on abilify 2mg on saturday.....add to the mix:anxious: My other son is 5 and going to kindergarden next fall. he's def not adhd thank god! he's a social superstar but has a very firey temper and is extremly hard on himself. he too makes me worry. there is tons of interesting info here and am excited to be apart of it!
  2. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Welcome dirtmama! We're glad you found us, though sorry you had to.

    Can you tell us what type of professional diagnosed your 8yo? Have they suggested anything else as a diagnosis beyond the ADHD and rather vague "behavior disorder not otherwise specified?" Also, is he getting support at school through a 504 plan or an IEP?

    My 13yo was about your son's age when we started suspecting that something more than ADHD was going on with him. He seemed to need higher doses of stimulant (and Concerta was one of the medications we used for a while) to acheive the same symptom control, and over time the medications just stopped working. That was probably our biggest sign that something else was going on. He was also put on an atypical antipsychotic around grade 3 (Risperdal) and it worked pretty well for a while. He also was on Abilify and that had beneifts for him as well, but he eventually developed an intolerance for most of the medications in that class (dystonic reaction).

    When you get a chance, pop over to the User CP (control panel) section located at the top of this page and create a signature for yourself so others can know your snapshot info without asking you to repeat yourself :)
  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Welcome to the board.

    Who diagnosed your son? Has he ever seen a neuropsychologist or had a group of professionals test him in all areas of functioning?

    Did he have any speech delays or, on the other side, is he very precocious and does he sound like a Little Professor? Does he monologue rather than converse OR answer "yes" and "no" with no explanations. Any quirks of behavior or sensitivity to light, sound, touch, food texture? Can he transition well from one activity to another? Can he make good eye contact with you AND strangers? Does he do ok and seem comfortable in a room full of kids or strangers? Does he like to recite, verbatim, things he's seen or heard? Lastly, how does he do in school?

    Are the medications helping him or do they rev him up and make him moody and worse?

    I'm sorry you had to come here, but we are good people who try to help. You may want to do a signature like I did below. How old is your son? How does he struggle socially? When did you first notice this?

    You may want to ask yourself the same questions about your younger son...is he a quirky kid? Any obsessive interests?
  4. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm glad you have finally joined us!

    I agree with you, 54 mg of concerta is a lot for a 50 pound kid. One thing I learned with stims and my son, sometime they need a change. Mine was on concerta for about a year and a half, upped the dosage equalled anger, raging and depression. Changed to adderall and added a very low dose of remeron (antidep), worked like a charm. That combo he took for about three years - removed the remeron, just adderall for another year and half and now he's taking vyvanse (last 15 months or so) and that has been a charm for him!

    You are so right in exploring other diagnosis's for your son. These kids are reallly complicated, to say the least. Hope the addition of the abilify this weekend helps your son (and the rest of the family).


    P.S. Click on the User CP link on the top left of your page and do a profile for us. It helps us remember who is who and also gives us a little history on family and your difficult child. It's really helpful when responded to a post!
  5. dirtmama

    dirtmama New Member

    i'm going to try to answer all those qestions....
    therapist (since 4 y/o) and general phys. and neuropsychologist all on duty and in cahoots. we are just starting up the neurpsych now with- additional issues.
    my son is very precocious! he starting speaking in sentences by his 2ng birthday and hasn't stopped talking since. he is highly intelligent. poor eye contact and if i ask him anything- it's fine (especially school- which isn't fine) he's very sensitive and emotional yet shows very little emotion. he was an easy, happy baby--active yet never cryed. not affectionate. more now than when he was little. he loves approaching strangers and will say anything to anybody. he's wild in a room fun of kids...makes me crazy. thrives with- strict prdictable structure yet totatlly disorganised. looses everything yet always knows where my keys are and where we parked the car! obsessed about somethings, compulsive about others yet not both. he does ok in school. does messy rushed work and doesn't work well independantly- grades don't reflect his ability. great athelete! he has a major problem with taking thing that don't belong to him.....but he is really a sweet lovable amazing child. non violent (accept with- his little brother) looking forward to any feed back!
  6. dirtmama

    dirtmama New Member

    oh yea, he's got a minimal 504 at school...no iep but it can be revisited
  7. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Ok, I'm not a doctor, nor have I played one on tv, but your son sounds like a combination of both of my boys! So you can put me down for a fiver on Aspergers Syndrome! ;)

    I think the best thing that you're doing is going for a full neuropsychologist. Make sure that you mention everything that you listed in your post. These details that you provide really, really gives them insight.

    Gotta go, the baby's getting fussy (not feeling to well today!).

    Welcome to the crowd!

  8. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I was thinking Aspergers when I asked the question and thinking even more Aspergers now, although it is often misdiagnosed as ADHD in younger kids. The precocious speech, poor eye contact, indiscriminate going up to anyone, etc...many red flags. This disorder would require school intervetions. Most of the time these kids are smart, but unable to figure out social cues and, as they get older, it becomes more apparent and more impairing. Without help, many Aspies have no friends at all and appear awkward and strange and feel badly about themselves making them lash out in frustration. Since they don't really care about what their peers think of them (or just have no social skills) they can act out in a very childish way even at school.

    These kids often have a bland expression, unless talking about an obsessive interest which they also tend to have. My son has this and is doing well, but he got help from early on. He does tend to look very bland unless he is almost stuttering with glee over his favorite topic. He talks a lot like a "Little Professor." Thankfully, he does have some friends at school, but it's hard to get him out of the house and socializing when he's not at school. He is doing great for an Aspie, but is still hampered socially. This all doesn't mean your son has it, but he sure has some symptoms of it and it needs more attention than ADHD.
  9. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Glad you joined us-welcome!
  10. maxeygirls

    maxeygirls New Member

    Wow dirtmama, as I read that all I kept thinking was Asperger's, just like MidwestMom and NVTS. I swear you just described my cousin ten years ago who was diagnosed at about the same age.
    Good luck, don't give up and welcome! Im a newbie too but this forum is fantastic and so many of the people here are so knowledgeable and kind.
  11. dirtmama

    dirtmama New Member

    wow! thanks for all the input! I was just looking into A.S. and holy cow. the social cue factor is huge and the narrow/ obsessive focus (on certain things) i've always felt some kind of connection with autism, sencing adhd and autism etc are related. maybe thats why! is there different degrees of aspergers? i even mentioned the hand flapping (when he's really excited or his medications haven't kick in) to his dr. you would think that would have been a read flag. but isn't there usually a speech delay ? well one good thing, i've heard that abilify can be used for autism...so maybe that pill i just gave him will work?? please fill me in on any info etc for aspergers ...i'm very curious! is it common to have as and adhd? or somekind of mixture even??
  12. dirtmama

    dirtmama New Member

    oh yes, one other thing... my 5 y/o has surpassed my 8 y/o as far as responsibility/ maturity ...it's been kind of freaking me out. as far as being able to trust them to make good choices...
  13. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    There's no real medicine for Asperger's Syndrome--medications may be used to treat comorbid ADHD, or to manage aggression. Some people with AS can have comorbid mood disorders (I'm on the spectrum and also BiPolar) that require treatment.

    Responsibility-wise; many Aspies will stick rigidly to rules if they make sense to them, and not being able to change tasks easily is a hallmark of the ASDs.

    Us girl Aspies often have serial obsessions as opposed to one life-long obsession. The hand-flapping is what is caused a stimulant. When overstimulated, the movements help us to feel more centered in our bodies (both male and female).

    The MOST IMPORTANT thing is that he get interventions in school. These will help him greatly. Aspies can go on to live full lives and be productive members of society, but most of us will always be a bit "eccentric".

    I never lined up my toys, but I used to delight, back in the days of returnable glass soda bottles (I'm an old Aspie and was only diagnosed a few years ago after other family members were diagnosed), in stuffing things into them....onion skins were a big favorite--I must've liked the feeling or something.

    Again, you MUST have interventions in place to help him learn to socialize and learn to handle the school and work environment.

    I was lucky in that ASDs are so common in my family that I was recognized early on as "another one of us" (my mom's an Aspie also, LoL) that I got a lot of informal intervention at home. There were relatives my mother could turn to who could help her out with anecdotal experiences.

    That's not the norm, despite ASDs being strongly familial.

    Feel free to PM me if you feel I can be of further help.

  14. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    There is no speech delay with Aspergers. Often these kids are precocious and sound like little professors, especially when they talk about their obsessive interests. Some read early.

    I would revisit the ADHD diagnosis. ADHD behavior is typical with Aspergers. medications made my son mean and aggressive and didn't help his attention. He had a great aid in school who taught him how to focus on the main points and, when older, to take notes. My son's last report card, mainstreamed, was a 3.45 average. Still, we have worries about his future ability to hold a good job.

    My son didn't even handflap and he has Aspergers/hilgh functioning autism. The earlier you start intervetnions, the better the outcome. Aspergers can be a heartbreaker...a smart kid who can't make it in the workplace or life because he is naive and clueless. He needs help. And not talk therapy...autism type help...

    Aspies do not all act out. My son is very placid. Most act out when they are frustrated due to communication glitches. Aspies, in spite of advanced vocabulary, are clueless communicators of their wants and needs. That is a chunk of a big problem.

    ADHD is really not Aspergers. Many ADHD kids do ok socially. Aspie kids do not. Kids find them strange, overbearing, too shy, or inappropriate. Aspie kids don't have a clue how to socialize the right way and often do better with adults and very young kids who won't judge their behavior.
    Last edited: Jan 30, 2010
  15. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    MWM, although a speech delay isn't common, it's not something that rules out aspergers. difficult child 1 spoke short sentences at nine mos. but difficult child 2 had to have speech (and continues to) issues to this day.

    Now here's something that I just learned recently: while many aspies have tremendous speaking abilities, quite often they're not able to process what YOU'RE saying to THEM! All of this time I was getting incredibly frustrated with CONSTANTLY repeating myself, it turned out that I was throwing out too many directions, suggestions, etc. for him to process appropriately. Once I went to "step by step" instructions, some of his frustration levels came down to somewhat manageable.

    They've also recommended that we look into speech for difficult child 1 so that he'd learn to better express himself to his peers. Here he is talking like a 30 year old, and the kids he's speaking to look at him like he's nuts! :D

    Aspies (depending on how they manifest) are pretty neat little buggers. We have 3 and each one of them has different manifestations.

    difficult child 1 was primarily looking like he had adhd & odd. difficult child 2 will walk off with any stranger that has a dog or baby, but suffers from more of the "Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-like" actions/behaviors. difficult child 3 is like PMS, 24/7 and has enough anxiety to fuel 1/2 the free world.

    Just don't worry too much about it until you get a firm diagnosis. And make sure that during the neuropsychologist that you bring up your suspicions and concerns. Try and document specific incidents so that they have a base-line to work from.

    We're here for you!

  16. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I was told that a speech delay means Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified, but it doesn't really matter. High functioning autism is high functioning autism.

    I agree that often they can't process too much at one time and that this can cause meltdowns. My son is old enough now to say, often agitated, "You're telling me to do too much." Then I have to stop and give him one sentence at a time.

    I have noticed that my son can not hold a long, meaningful give-and-take conversation. He either says "yes" or "no" or "I don't want to talk about it" or he monologues about his special interest (and he knows EVERYTHING about it). He took Speech, not because he couldn't speak well, but to teach him conversational speech. He still isn't very good at it, but he's better.
  17. dirtmama

    dirtmama New Member

    i will definetly bring all this up with- the neuropsychologist. thank you for all the useful info. to update on the abilify that we started sat. so far so good. no bad side effects and difficult child seems relaxed for the first time in his life. i never realised how tense he normally is until now. i'm keeping my fingers crossed and we'll see how school goes today. we also started a ticket- pos reinforcement game at home to try break old habits and start new good habits (that are normally a battle). i figured i'd sieze the opportuity. must stick with- it. that's the hard part.
  18. dirtmama

    dirtmama New Member

    my difficult child doesn't put much effort into school. it's like he doesn't get the whole gradeing thing at all. i tell him that he needs to show his teachers his best work, so he can either move on or they can work on it more. he' s very smart but most of the time does messy incomplete rushed work. he scored poorly in science which is his favorite. well i guess things are an improvement from kindergarden and 1st grade when all his work was illegable and tornup or distroyed. (it's still all crinkled etc)