Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Time to ask her to leave...
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="gma" data-source="post: 462053" data-attributes="member: 12738"><p>Thank you so much for taking the time to ask. About 18 she found a new crowd, ended up leaving home going off all medications and started using Meth. She states she hates the drug, but hates herself and choices more so buries it in the drug. 8 months of back and forth home a couple of physc hospital stays and finally telling her she couldn't come home without full residential treatment. Boyfriend of 4 years took her back ends up using too and dealing - his mom in total denial and allowing it to happen blaming my daughter for it all. difficult child felt and still feels like she needs to try to save boyfriend, because even though he had always experimented with drugs and there were lots of off and ons with them due to it, she blames herself because he came to her when she was using and asked her to help him get meth. We later found out part of her reason for running in the beginning was his unhealthy hold on her. Telling her she was crazy and she owed him for being the only one who could put up with her or love her. When she would get strong enough to end things, he would threaten to kill his self (during all this we had a young man in the area who was very close to our family hang himself, so the threat was real). </p><p></p><p>Last June we got the call, she wanted help and to get back on medications and off drugs. She was ready for residential. She actually reached out to oldest brother, he called me to find somewhere that would take her at 10PM and didn't stop until he got her there before she changed her mind. She was then 19 and as we all know could walk if she wanted to. She did an amazing job working her program from day one. When she arrived they were concerned with her mental state and wasn't sure if it would work. By week one, they saw a completely different girl. They diagnosed her #1 Addition, boyfriend-codependency #2 Drugs - not for the high, but her coping skill to punish herself. She worked hard for 45 days, then it was time to move her into partial in-patient. 2 days into it, she heard news the "ex" had a new little 16yr old and they were in love. She didn't use any of the tools and relapses. Spent the next two weeks trying to get back on track, but didn't succeed. Finally, left her sober living arrangements and gave up completely. That's when she lived couch to couch (Ex sneaking her in and out, and oh yeah, did I mention the 37yr old dealer who has a thing for her (she credits him for helping talk her into leaving the boyfriend), he took her in for a few days. She realized real quick his "concern" and that's when she ended up sleeping in the street.</p><p></p><p>Sorry so much ---</p><p></p><p>Brings us to now. 3 weeks ago we brought her home, broken with cut wrists and just no will. We decided to just love her for now. We've tried to talk counseling, rehab again, nothing. Older siblings and families come over, call her, try to engage her with the nieces and nephews she adores, nothing. I've tried to suggest, walks, gym, anything to get her engaged, nothing. Most of the time in room sleeping or isolating. And then there are the disappearances every 4 to 5 days like this weekend. When she goes and is out of contact I know where and what she is doing. She doesn't bring it homes, just goes and returns.</p><p></p><p>She is here but changing nothing. Isn't that just allowing her to destroy herself? We thought of giving her 1 week to either decide to get in a program and back to doctor's or let her know she will have to leave. We can't let her continue to do this to herself, right... However, her plan to "do something about it" and mine may not be the same.</p><p></p><p>Again, thanks for asking and listening.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="gma, post: 462053, member: 12738"] Thank you so much for taking the time to ask. About 18 she found a new crowd, ended up leaving home going off all medications and started using Meth. She states she hates the drug, but hates herself and choices more so buries it in the drug. 8 months of back and forth home a couple of physc hospital stays and finally telling her she couldn't come home without full residential treatment. Boyfriend of 4 years took her back ends up using too and dealing - his mom in total denial and allowing it to happen blaming my daughter for it all. difficult child felt and still feels like she needs to try to save boyfriend, because even though he had always experimented with drugs and there were lots of off and ons with them due to it, she blames herself because he came to her when she was using and asked her to help him get meth. We later found out part of her reason for running in the beginning was his unhealthy hold on her. Telling her she was crazy and she owed him for being the only one who could put up with her or love her. When she would get strong enough to end things, he would threaten to kill his self (during all this we had a young man in the area who was very close to our family hang himself, so the threat was real). Last June we got the call, she wanted help and to get back on medications and off drugs. She was ready for residential. She actually reached out to oldest brother, he called me to find somewhere that would take her at 10PM and didn't stop until he got her there before she changed her mind. She was then 19 and as we all know could walk if she wanted to. She did an amazing job working her program from day one. When she arrived they were concerned with her mental state and wasn't sure if it would work. By week one, they saw a completely different girl. They diagnosed her #1 Addition, boyfriend-codependency #2 Drugs - not for the high, but her coping skill to punish herself. She worked hard for 45 days, then it was time to move her into partial in-patient. 2 days into it, she heard news the "ex" had a new little 16yr old and they were in love. She didn't use any of the tools and relapses. Spent the next two weeks trying to get back on track, but didn't succeed. Finally, left her sober living arrangements and gave up completely. That's when she lived couch to couch (Ex sneaking her in and out, and oh yeah, did I mention the 37yr old dealer who has a thing for her (she credits him for helping talk her into leaving the boyfriend), he took her in for a few days. She realized real quick his "concern" and that's when she ended up sleeping in the street. Sorry so much --- Brings us to now. 3 weeks ago we brought her home, broken with cut wrists and just no will. We decided to just love her for now. We've tried to talk counseling, rehab again, nothing. Older siblings and families come over, call her, try to engage her with the nieces and nephews she adores, nothing. I've tried to suggest, walks, gym, anything to get her engaged, nothing. Most of the time in room sleeping or isolating. And then there are the disappearances every 4 to 5 days like this weekend. When she goes and is out of contact I know where and what she is doing. She doesn't bring it homes, just goes and returns. She is here but changing nothing. Isn't that just allowing her to destroy herself? We thought of giving her 1 week to either decide to get in a program and back to doctor's or let her know she will have to leave. We can't let her continue to do this to herself, right... However, her plan to "do something about it" and mine may not be the same. Again, thanks for asking and listening. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Time to ask her to leave...
Top