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Time to ask her to leave...
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<blockquote data-quote="gma" data-source="post: 462896" data-attributes="member: 12738"><p>Believe me, at this point she truly has nothing. She dropped out of HS with 4 credits needed. Tried to finish that through various methods, but no staying power or concentration. Family keeps trying, but she's built a wall of guilt that none of us can break down. She has a doggie she loves and won't even connect with him. Her friends she's grown up with are tired. Actually, they were giving it ANOTHER go, really rallying around her two weeks ago when she was done with the Ex for good this time, but they are 19 and take it very personal that she chooses him over their unconditional love every time (heck we all do, but I guess Mom's just have a little more staying power). </p><p></p><p>This time the EX called from an unidentified number sobbing that he'd been badly beaten up by the 37yr dealer and 4 others for some very nasty slurs he posted all over facebook about difficult child (ain't it great I've got the drug dealer as her protector!!!). She ran back to EX. Had been gone 3 nights and just walked in sobbing and up in her room. I did go up and ask if she'd like to talk and she said "yes please, in just a little bit" and thanked me... ugh</p><p></p><p>This is where I get so stuck. Do I talk it out with her and hope, just maybe this time will be different and she'll say I'm ready. Do I talk it out and when she looks me in the eye again and says, I won't do any of it to help myself - let that be and know she's got to be there. I think that's were I'm at, what choice do I have right now??? I don't think kicking her out is the answer... it doesn't feel right for today.</p><p></p><p>Sorry gang, rambling here I know! Just venting and probably avoiding heading up those stairs to her room...maybe this time will be "the time", if it's not I'm sad but OK and will hope next time is...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="gma, post: 462896, member: 12738"] Believe me, at this point she truly has nothing. She dropped out of HS with 4 credits needed. Tried to finish that through various methods, but no staying power or concentration. Family keeps trying, but she's built a wall of guilt that none of us can break down. She has a doggie she loves and won't even connect with him. Her friends she's grown up with are tired. Actually, they were giving it ANOTHER go, really rallying around her two weeks ago when she was done with the Ex for good this time, but they are 19 and take it very personal that she chooses him over their unconditional love every time (heck we all do, but I guess Mom's just have a little more staying power). This time the EX called from an unidentified number sobbing that he'd been badly beaten up by the 37yr dealer and 4 others for some very nasty slurs he posted all over facebook about difficult child (ain't it great I've got the drug dealer as her protector!!!). She ran back to EX. Had been gone 3 nights and just walked in sobbing and up in her room. I did go up and ask if she'd like to talk and she said "yes please, in just a little bit" and thanked me... ugh This is where I get so stuck. Do I talk it out with her and hope, just maybe this time will be different and she'll say I'm ready. Do I talk it out and when she looks me in the eye again and says, I won't do any of it to help myself - let that be and know she's got to be there. I think that's were I'm at, what choice do I have right now??? I don't think kicking her out is the answer... it doesn't feel right for today. Sorry gang, rambling here I know! Just venting and probably avoiding heading up those stairs to her room...maybe this time will be "the time", if it's not I'm sad but OK and will hope next time is... [/QUOTE]
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