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Time to ask her to leave...
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<blockquote data-quote="Signorina" data-source="post: 463366"><p>Hi gma-I've read your posts and I can understand how agonizing this decision is.</p><p></p><p>Honestly, I wouldn't ask her to leave. If she's not disruptive or problematic at home, I think you are both better off if she is living at home. Asking her to leave may be like tossing her from the frying pan into the fire. My son did leave and frankly it created more heartbreak and more worries than it solved. So until you really have a plan of action and have exhausted all of your options, I would let her stay. </p><p></p><p>She's not cutting you out of her life - the channels of communication are open (even if they are very faint) and I wouldn't want to close that door just yet. I think she obviously wants your help even if she can't figure out a way to make it work.</p><p></p><p>Have you thought about starting with a a complete medical work up? I'd call her dr and let them know my concerns and ask for some help. I might try to approach it initially in a physical way...flu shot, routine bloodwork, (birth control?) etc etc. Have her thyroid checked, have the doctor check for lyme, epstein barr etc. and other physical reasons for the lethargy. It may give the doctor (as a third party) an avenue to suggest mental health counseling/rehab/etc. (for a brief moment - my difficult child was more open to working with his dr when the explanation seemed to include a physical reason for his amotivation)</p><p></p><p>As I said, my difficult child left and is out of touch 4 hours away. I find myself checking his cell phone usage 3x a day (my account) just to reassure myself that he is alive. Every weekend, I can't sleep because I know that he is in the danger zone of college partying all night...frying pan to fire...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Signorina, post: 463366"] Hi gma-I've read your posts and I can understand how agonizing this decision is. Honestly, I wouldn't ask her to leave. If she's not disruptive or problematic at home, I think you are both better off if she is living at home. Asking her to leave may be like tossing her from the frying pan into the fire. My son did leave and frankly it created more heartbreak and more worries than it solved. So until you really have a plan of action and have exhausted all of your options, I would let her stay. She's not cutting you out of her life - the channels of communication are open (even if they are very faint) and I wouldn't want to close that door just yet. I think she obviously wants your help even if she can't figure out a way to make it work. Have you thought about starting with a a complete medical work up? I'd call her dr and let them know my concerns and ask for some help. I might try to approach it initially in a physical way...flu shot, routine bloodwork, (birth control?) etc etc. Have her thyroid checked, have the doctor check for lyme, epstein barr etc. and other physical reasons for the lethargy. It may give the doctor (as a third party) an avenue to suggest mental health counseling/rehab/etc. (for a brief moment - my difficult child was more open to working with his dr when the explanation seemed to include a physical reason for his amotivation) As I said, my difficult child left and is out of touch 4 hours away. I find myself checking his cell phone usage 3x a day (my account) just to reassure myself that he is alive. Every weekend, I can't sleep because I know that he is in the danger zone of college partying all night...frying pan to fire... [/QUOTE]
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