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Time to Put My Big Girl Panties On
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 395808" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>Yeah. I know how difficult it can be to overcome. Biomom is that way. The only rebellious thing she ever did was up and marry husband out of the blue.........she transferred her utter dependence to husband (totally bad idea in more ways than one lol as he was no better than she was). The moment that didn't work out she was back with daddy, who controlled and dominated her even in adulthood to the extent of deciding if the woman could or could not date. ugh He wasn't a bad guy, I met him a few times. I know he loved them but he was in total control. </p><p></p><p>And I know that Katie may not be able to throw off that dependency. The hope I have is that actually though she has been doing independent things all along, I just don't think she realizes it due to her extremely low self esteem. M can't fill the role her grandpa did other than emotional support. I peeked at a resume she had in there for him.............he goes to work for about 2 months every 2-3 yrs if not longer. So he's not even been supporting them financially. I hope to guide her into seeing that. And I hope with family support and love, the emotional dependency on him will decrease to the point where she can let him go. That's what I hope for, not holding high hopes because she's been with him since 14 and intensely since 16, that's an awful long time to be that dependent on someone and to let them go. And yeah, she can always latch it on to the next guy. ugh</p><p></p><p>It's going to be tough. Katie has never held a job, other than the bob evan's job where she met M at 14. The rest she'd show up the first day and quit. That was here 10 yrs ago when welfare forced her to work to get her monthly check.</p><p></p><p>She's got a very long road ahead of her.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 395808, member: 84"] Yeah. I know how difficult it can be to overcome. Biomom is that way. The only rebellious thing she ever did was up and marry husband out of the blue.........she transferred her utter dependence to husband (totally bad idea in more ways than one lol as he was no better than she was). The moment that didn't work out she was back with daddy, who controlled and dominated her even in adulthood to the extent of deciding if the woman could or could not date. ugh He wasn't a bad guy, I met him a few times. I know he loved them but he was in total control. And I know that Katie may not be able to throw off that dependency. The hope I have is that actually though she has been doing independent things all along, I just don't think she realizes it due to her extremely low self esteem. M can't fill the role her grandpa did other than emotional support. I peeked at a resume she had in there for him.............he goes to work for about 2 months every 2-3 yrs if not longer. So he's not even been supporting them financially. I hope to guide her into seeing that. And I hope with family support and love, the emotional dependency on him will decrease to the point where she can let him go. That's what I hope for, not holding high hopes because she's been with him since 14 and intensely since 16, that's an awful long time to be that dependent on someone and to let them go. And yeah, she can always latch it on to the next guy. ugh It's going to be tough. Katie has never held a job, other than the bob evan's job where she met M at 14. The rest she'd show up the first day and quit. That was here 10 yrs ago when welfare forced her to work to get her monthly check. She's got a very long road ahead of her. [/QUOTE]
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