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Tips for helping siblings deal with the family turmoil? How do you explain?
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 457620"><p>It is hard dealing with the siblings. My situation is slightly different because my PC16 year old daughter is very very angry with her brother for all the turmoil and stress she has caused and for some of his past behaviors towards her. Now my difficult child has always been a difficult child to some extent, the drug use just made the other issues go over the top. What I realized though is at this point I need to protect her because she is doing well and deserves to have a peaceful home. We let my son come home for a little while a couple months after we kicked him out and my daugther totally withdrew from us. After we made him leave again she bloomed. So for me it is really clear my son cannot come and live at home again because it will not be good for her.</p><p></p><p>So your other kids may start feeling some relief after he has been gone a little while and you are also not so upset. They are probably upset at seeing you upset and I don't know that that is abad thing... because reality is you are upset and for good reason.</p><p></p><p>I think my only tip is to give your kids room to express their feelings of what is going on... and don't take whatever they feel personally. Give them space to talk and express and in the end this may help you all be closer. My daughter and I have a great relationship now.... and that is partly because she now knows I am not going to put her in a bad position with her brother.</p><p></p><p>I do suggest that you go to Alanon... especially a parents meeting if you can find one. I have found it hugely helpful. It has been incredibly healing and comforting to meet other parents dealing with these issues..... and the point of Alanon is to take care of you and I think you need that right now.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 457620"] It is hard dealing with the siblings. My situation is slightly different because my PC16 year old daughter is very very angry with her brother for all the turmoil and stress she has caused and for some of his past behaviors towards her. Now my difficult child has always been a difficult child to some extent, the drug use just made the other issues go over the top. What I realized though is at this point I need to protect her because she is doing well and deserves to have a peaceful home. We let my son come home for a little while a couple months after we kicked him out and my daugther totally withdrew from us. After we made him leave again she bloomed. So for me it is really clear my son cannot come and live at home again because it will not be good for her. So your other kids may start feeling some relief after he has been gone a little while and you are also not so upset. They are probably upset at seeing you upset and I don't know that that is abad thing... because reality is you are upset and for good reason. I think my only tip is to give your kids room to express their feelings of what is going on... and don't take whatever they feel personally. Give them space to talk and express and in the end this may help you all be closer. My daughter and I have a great relationship now.... and that is partly because she now knows I am not going to put her in a bad position with her brother. I do suggest that you go to Alanon... especially a parents meeting if you can find one. I have found it hugely helpful. It has been incredibly healing and comforting to meet other parents dealing with these issues..... and the point of Alanon is to take care of you and I think you need that right now. TL [/QUOTE]
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Tips for helping siblings deal with the family turmoil? How do you explain?
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