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Tips for helping siblings deal with the family turmoil? How do you explain?
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<blockquote data-quote="DDD" data-source="post: 457890" data-attributes="member: 35"><p>Alot depends on how much they already know. Alot depends on their specific personalities. Do you have reason to believe that they have misread the situation?</p><p></p><p>There is a "hole" in your family unit. You are hurting and they are hurting. It's actually painful when the first kid leaves for college or marriage. I understand completely crying holding the extra potato. been there done that when our easy child/difficult child was gone from home for rehab...again when he was in jail. Obviously it is best to do your crying in the shower or into your pillow but if the boys have seen you cry I think it probably just reaffirmed that you, too, are feeling the loss.</p><p></p><p>Based on their ages I think it might be best to keep it very simple. Something like "our entire family is experiencing the effects of X choosing to leave home, we are all hoping or praying that he makes healthy choices soon. If either of you have any questions please ask. Sometimes different family members "see" sad situations differently and sometimes there is a misunderstanding that festers in the heart. Let's try to work through this together and keep it honest between us."</p><p></p><p>Be prepared to answer questions about addiction, about the tendencies of a user to suck others into their view of reality, about individual choices and most of all about how love remains even when poor decisions are made. Teens are complex and it's hard to know what they are thinking. Even if they don't show it most of them want to know that their family loves each other. Best of luck to you. DDD</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DDD, post: 457890, member: 35"] Alot depends on how much they already know. Alot depends on their specific personalities. Do you have reason to believe that they have misread the situation? There is a "hole" in your family unit. You are hurting and they are hurting. It's actually painful when the first kid leaves for college or marriage. I understand completely crying holding the extra potato. been there done that when our easy child/difficult child was gone from home for rehab...again when he was in jail. Obviously it is best to do your crying in the shower or into your pillow but if the boys have seen you cry I think it probably just reaffirmed that you, too, are feeling the loss. Based on their ages I think it might be best to keep it very simple. Something like "our entire family is experiencing the effects of X choosing to leave home, we are all hoping or praying that he makes healthy choices soon. If either of you have any questions please ask. Sometimes different family members "see" sad situations differently and sometimes there is a misunderstanding that festers in the heart. Let's try to work through this together and keep it honest between us." Be prepared to answer questions about addiction, about the tendencies of a user to suck others into their view of reality, about individual choices and most of all about how love remains even when poor decisions are made. Teens are complex and it's hard to know what they are thinking. Even if they don't show it most of them want to know that their family loves each other. Best of luck to you. DDD [/QUOTE]
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Tips for helping siblings deal with the family turmoil? How do you explain?
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