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Mom? What's a difficult child?
This is a great Blog I belong to that we stumbled on while looking for info regarding Tucson Schools... I thought this Blog was important for a lot of us here. K doesn't have to deal with the on-line stuff yet, but has had school stuff... I know some others had posted some really great stuff. I figured it never gets old!!! There was a story the other night on PBS about children's on-line lives, very scary.
Alisa's Education Talk
Tips for Dealing with Cyber Bullies
Posted: 17 Jan 2008 11:08 PM CST
Recently, I was the victim of a cyber bully. A cyber, what? That's right - you heard me correctly - a cyber bully!
What is cyber bullying, anyway? First, let's take a look at what defines bullying:
Many bullies have been, or are currently being, bullied themselves
There is an imbalance of power, and an intent to harm, intimidate or induce fear
Bullying is conscious and deliberate, and usually includes threats of further aggression
When bullying becomes systemic, or literally a part of the school, home or work culture, it can result in a state of terror
So, how is cyber bullying different from regular bullying? Basically, cyber bullying includes all of the above, and includes flame mail (email that is designed to inflame and enrage) and hate mail (email that is prejudicial, rascist, sexist, etc.). Depending on the survey you read, approximately 30-50% of students have stated that they have been the victims of cyber-bullying via a mobile phone or the internet
Many cyber bullies send incessant emails or text messages to their victims, looking for a response of some kind, and being relentless is part of the formula. Cyber bullying can also be found on online discussion forums, blogs, and virtually any other type of online environment. Many cyber bullying, like regular bullying, is an attempt to get attention, and these types of bullies get a kick out of getting their victims riled up.
Some tips for responding:
1. DON'T RESPOND - this is the hardest to do, especially since it is human nature to want to defend yourself and/or right the situation. Remember, the individuals who victimize others in this way are NOT logical or sensible, and are only looking for a reaction - don't give them what they want. Ignore the bullying, and stay away from the computer for a day or two, if needed.
2. Keep copies of all abusive emails or messages - avoid reading them, but keep them in case the bullying gets to the point where you may want to file charges or lodge an official complaint. Written records of the bullying will work in your favor. Remember, though - DON'T read them beyond the ability to identify that this is a bullying email, and you need to keep it for documentation.
3. Try to understand why bullying occurs - not to excuse the behavior of the bully, but learning more about what bullying is, and isn't, can help you accept things, and may help you not get upset
4. Get help and support - Fortunately, there is help for victims of cyber bullying.
Depending on the situation, you may also want to ask for help from the school, workplace or other environment where the cyber bullying is taking place.
For more information, and my thoughts, about bullying, see the following previous blog posts:
Bullying and the Problem with Anti-Bully Programs
Animal Abuse and Children
NPR's Justice Talking Tackles School Violence
Alisa's Education Talk
Tips for Dealing with Cyber Bullies
Posted: 17 Jan 2008 11:08 PM CST
Recently, I was the victim of a cyber bully. A cyber, what? That's right - you heard me correctly - a cyber bully!
What is cyber bullying, anyway? First, let's take a look at what defines bullying:
Many bullies have been, or are currently being, bullied themselves
There is an imbalance of power, and an intent to harm, intimidate or induce fear
Bullying is conscious and deliberate, and usually includes threats of further aggression
When bullying becomes systemic, or literally a part of the school, home or work culture, it can result in a state of terror
So, how is cyber bullying different from regular bullying? Basically, cyber bullying includes all of the above, and includes flame mail (email that is designed to inflame and enrage) and hate mail (email that is prejudicial, rascist, sexist, etc.). Depending on the survey you read, approximately 30-50% of students have stated that they have been the victims of cyber-bullying via a mobile phone or the internet
Many cyber bullies send incessant emails or text messages to their victims, looking for a response of some kind, and being relentless is part of the formula. Cyber bullying can also be found on online discussion forums, blogs, and virtually any other type of online environment. Many cyber bullying, like regular bullying, is an attempt to get attention, and these types of bullies get a kick out of getting their victims riled up.
Some tips for responding:
1. DON'T RESPOND - this is the hardest to do, especially since it is human nature to want to defend yourself and/or right the situation. Remember, the individuals who victimize others in this way are NOT logical or sensible, and are only looking for a reaction - don't give them what they want. Ignore the bullying, and stay away from the computer for a day or two, if needed.
2. Keep copies of all abusive emails or messages - avoid reading them, but keep them in case the bullying gets to the point where you may want to file charges or lodge an official complaint. Written records of the bullying will work in your favor. Remember, though - DON'T read them beyond the ability to identify that this is a bullying email, and you need to keep it for documentation.
3. Try to understand why bullying occurs - not to excuse the behavior of the bully, but learning more about what bullying is, and isn't, can help you accept things, and may help you not get upset
4. Get help and support - Fortunately, there is help for victims of cyber bullying.
Depending on the situation, you may also want to ask for help from the school, workplace or other environment where the cyber bullying is taking place.
For more information, and my thoughts, about bullying, see the following previous blog posts:
Bullying and the Problem with Anti-Bully Programs
Animal Abuse and Children
NPR's Justice Talking Tackles School Violence
