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Tired of crying
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 380824" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Welcome. The others all said it well.</p><p></p><p>One point I must make - I hope you have not used your kids' real names. You need to have anonymity here, because whatever you post online can be tracked. And you need to feel free to say what yo need to, without fear of being victimised by anybody in your lives. </p><p>For example, I know that while difficult child 3 was at the local school, if I had posted anything using our real names, his class teacher would have found it, read it and held it over my head. SHe would have shown it to other colleagues and anything I wrote which could be misconstrued in any way, she would have used to get people angry with me.</p><p></p><p>By staying anonymous, I can vent about school, about neighbours (and bullies), about family and about doctors without worrying that someone will take it personally and get angry with me.</p><p></p><p>Back to your son - ask him why he did this. Also ask him what happened. When you question him, avoid questions that prompt. You need questions where "yes" or "no" are insufficient. For example, do not ask him, "Did you attack Billy because he had been teasing you?"</p><p>Instead, you ask him, "What happened? And then what?" and just let him talk. Take notes and record it all so you can go back over it. If you need more information, ask him for it. Don't react at any time. After he has told you, then you can say things like, "There is never any excuse for physically attacking someone else. We have laws against it, this is so serious. Do you understand this?"</p><p></p><p>You say he is not like this - but at school our kids are in a different environment. They are subject to different pressures and different problems. You need to find out what has been happening, and why.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 380824, member: 1991"] Welcome. The others all said it well. One point I must make - I hope you have not used your kids' real names. You need to have anonymity here, because whatever you post online can be tracked. And you need to feel free to say what yo need to, without fear of being victimised by anybody in your lives. For example, I know that while difficult child 3 was at the local school, if I had posted anything using our real names, his class teacher would have found it, read it and held it over my head. SHe would have shown it to other colleagues and anything I wrote which could be misconstrued in any way, she would have used to get people angry with me. By staying anonymous, I can vent about school, about neighbours (and bullies), about family and about doctors without worrying that someone will take it personally and get angry with me. Back to your son - ask him why he did this. Also ask him what happened. When you question him, avoid questions that prompt. You need questions where "yes" or "no" are insufficient. For example, do not ask him, "Did you attack Billy because he had been teasing you?" Instead, you ask him, "What happened? And then what?" and just let him talk. Take notes and record it all so you can go back over it. If you need more information, ask him for it. Don't react at any time. After he has told you, then you can say things like, "There is never any excuse for physically attacking someone else. We have laws against it, this is so serious. Do you understand this?" You say he is not like this - but at school our kids are in a different environment. They are subject to different pressures and different problems. You need to find out what has been happening, and why. Marg [/QUOTE]
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