Tis the season

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Wiped Out, Dec 8, 2008.

  1. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    for difficult child to start driving us crazy! Some days I'm so tired of dealing with an 11 year old who thinks he is about 16 and acts like he is about 4 or 5 years old.

    I'm tired of the constant rudeness, posturing, and inappropriate behavior along with his refusal to be redirected by just about anything. Right now I'm feeling guilty that I'm so glad his sleeping medications have kicked in!

    There was one bright spot-he did realize he had pushed too things too far at one point. I had stopped decorating the tree because he was such a pain (that is putting it nicely) and sat down on the couch. I was complaining about my dry hands and he went and got me some of his lotion (for him to share his lotion with me is huge) and he apologized for his actions.

    Ahh-tomorrow is another day!

  2. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I'm sorry- you are right in that it is the season- it's between the autumn depression and the spring mania and it's chocked full of routine interruptions. I know you don't need it all on top of what you've been going thru just to try to take care of yourself.

    I hope you find a way to "steal" some time for yourself so you can get through this. Remember, he is a little older so he'll be ok and you have every right to say "enough". ((HUGS)) I know exactly what you're saying and what you're dreading....

    PS It really is a good sign that he noticed he'd pushed things too far and that he showed compassion for you and tried to help- for an 11yo kid with BiPolar (BP)- I, personally, think this offers hope. I feel the same way when I see those "glimpses" in my son. Maybe we will all survivie this after all, huh?
  3. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Yup...tis the season. For many of our kids, the excitement of the holidays is truly overwhelming. Glad he realized the error of his ways, and as you said, tomorrow is another day.
  4. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    My difficult child was a royal pain tonight, I left and had to go study for finals and left poor husband with him and easy child. He was super irritable, grouchy, mean and rude. For us December is a double whammy, difficult child's birthday is 12-12.

    My sympathy/empathy is with you wiped out. This is not a good time of year. Try to find some time for yourself. Good luck.

    It is good that difficult child shared "his" lotion. I could see how that would be huge.
  5. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    We all need to just run away the day before Thanksgiving! :)
    This is such a hard time on all of us... if it ain't the darn kids pushing us to our limits it is the rest of the family!

    Hey, sharing is a huge thing! ;)
  6. Jena

    Jena New Member

    Yes it is, Sharon I'm glad your getting some peace now and he's sleeping. Don't feel guilty for being happy the medications kicked in. Sheesh than id' be bad every night lol. by the way we are still waiting for medications to kick in.

    Yup we are all giong to survive this and have some great stories to share!! :)

    We can create a new website later on, that is after their grown.........and hopefully on their own. what would we call that website?? ....................

    by the way i also think that was a great sign that he realized he went too far and stopped. :)

    I hope you get some well needed rest.

  7. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Thanks everyone! I know this is such a difficult time for our kids. I'm with Totoro about running away after Thanksgiving!

    It was great he apologized! He was really ramped up again today-moods constantly changing. At one point husband and I almost wished we were at school today instead of home for a snow day.
  8. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I was thinking about this late last night, Sharon. There are times when my son seems to be making an honest effort in regards to keeping his moods and impulses in check, and in being remorseful right afterwards when he has acted impulsively or when he has just "reacted" to the mood before realizing it. This didn't start until he was about 12 yo, and I can't say that he always shows this effort or insight. However, I don't think I always notice the symptommatic behavior/signs until way after the fact either.

    Using TEC attitude with him and much, much praise for even the smallest insight or effort from him has gone a long way. I'm not sure exactly where your son is in regards to understanding his diagnosis and learning how to live with it, but it was a blessing to discover that occassionally (not always) my son is able to discuss with me, therapist, or psychiatrist, things he notices about himself and efforts to not give into it, etc.

    It might not seem huge, but I think it was HUGE that your son really tried to make this up to you, because it showed that he is starting to notice. I don't think it's that he just noticed he did something wrong. My gut feeling is that he noticed a mood issue and that he acted on it, then realized it and was sorry.

    You know him better, of course, so I hope I'm not being too optimistic or catering to him. But, I wouldn't be surprised if he was really starting to "get it", little by litttle, because of his age and all the efforts you have made to "ease" him into understanding it all.

    I think you are doing a great job!! Hang in there!!
  9. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Did today go better?

    Sharing lotion was really great!

    We walked away from a problem tonight. :) difficult child wanted to go shopping after school. He was looking for gift bag gifts for the boys in the classroom. However, if he gets for some, he has to get for all so I told him I will pick out some items for the girls. I asked how many there were and he said four. I named, E, F, S and couldn't think of the 4th one. To which difficult child responded in a not too nice tone, "We don't have to get for A!"

    I found flutes for 88 cents each and asked difficult child if I should get those for all the kids. "No, you can get them for the girls but not the boys!" He was in such a bad mood. I said, "Are you sure you are up to this tonight?" "What? Why?" "You are not in a good mood and you are not enjoying this. I think we should put everything back and do this another time. We are going to Fargo next Friday and can take the day off school to shop." He answered, "o.k. fine" We put everything back and went in search of easy child.

    difficult child then had an issue with the amount of the bill (way too high!!!) and he told easy child to put some of her stuff back. I told him that this will come out of her Christmas gifts. He then got madder and told her again to put stuff back. I told him it was none of his business and to drop it. UGH!!

    Oh well, I do look at it as a successful outing. We got out of there with no meltdowns, just anger. He is struggling tonight!
  10. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Arrgh. I know what you mean about the posturing.

    I love that he got you lotion! Very cool!
  11. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Tis the time for fools and folly
    Fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la
    They drive us to be melancholy
    Fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la
    Don we now our polished armor
    Fa-la-la la-la-la la-la-la
    Until we reach two thousand niner
    Fa-la-la-la-la la-la la-la.

    (ps the fools are the relatives)​