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Tis the Season
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<blockquote data-quote="Mancouso" data-source="post: 570145" data-attributes="member: 15688"><p><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000">I figured an update was in order. I took difficult child to an appointment with juvenile intakelast week because it is required for children arrested by the police. Surprisingly, the case worker offered up afew points which gained some traction. She asked him about long terms goals and how he planned on reachingthem, working back to which actions right now would positively affect hisfuture. He also seemed to accept her simple commonsense advice on other topics as well, the same advice Ive been giving him foryears.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'">Every now and then, a window opens into his soul, a lucid momentwhen he will transmit information openly and freely, conversing openly aboutlife and his choices. It is surreal andmomentary, as the window closes all too soon. I believe he wants to live up to all the expectations his family has forhim, but capitulates in a desire to feel accepted among his peers, an act whichleads him farther down the road of abuse and addiction (like any addiction, italways takes the person farther then they wanted to go). </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000">Right now, I hold him to a very strict standard ofconduct. Either he communicates exactlywhere he will be and when he will be home or Ill have the police come pick himup. This is the only method of parentingthat works. He needs concrete boundariesor he will take advantage of any leeway, which leads me to the final commentthe case worker made during our meeting. I think she scared him with the words, If you keep getting in trouble,your parents will no longer be in charge of you, and the courts will step in. He now realizes that if his file gets toobig, he will become a ward of the state. </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000">Me: Military officer,married 11 years</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000">difficult child: 16, anxiety disorder, insecure, but good with animals and small children.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000"></span></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mancouso, post: 570145, member: 15688"] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000]I figured an update was in order. I took difficult child to an appointment with juvenile intakelast week because it is required for children arrested by the police. Surprisingly, the case worker offered up afew points which gained some traction. She asked him about long terms goals and how he planned on reachingthem, working back to which actions right now would positively affect hisfuture. He also seemed to accept her simple commonsense advice on other topics as well, the same advice Ive been giving him foryears.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][FONT=Calibri]Every now and then, a window opens into his soul, a lucid momentwhen he will transmit information openly and freely, conversing openly aboutlife and his choices. It is surreal andmomentary, as the window closes all too soon. I believe he wants to live up to all the expectations his family has forhim, but capitulates in a desire to feel accepted among his peers, an act whichleads him farther down the road of abuse and addiction (like any addiction, italways takes the person farther then they wanted to go). [/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000]Right now, I hold him to a very strict standard ofconduct. Either he communicates exactlywhere he will be and when he will be home or Ill have the police come pick himup. This is the only method of parentingthat works. He needs concrete boundariesor he will take advantage of any leeway, which leads me to the final commentthe case worker made during our meeting. I think she scared him with the words, If you keep getting in trouble,your parents will no longer be in charge of you, and the courts will step in. He now realizes that if his file gets toobig, he will become a ward of the state. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000]Me: Military officer,married 11 years difficult child: 16, anxiety disorder, insecure, but good with animals and small children. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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