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General Parenting
To Adopt or Not to Adopt---That is the question!
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<blockquote data-quote="mstang67chic" data-source="post: 107726" data-attributes="member: 2459"><p>Wow.....you've got a full house, don't you? Without knowing the full situation (why they were taken from bio mom, things they went through, etc.) I would have to say a couple of things. First, and you'll hear about this book alot here, get the book The Explosive Child by Ross Greene. It's been very helpful around here. </p><p></p><p>Also, as it sounds like you got the kids straight from the abusive situation, there are bound to be some issues. If they aren't already, I really recommend getting them into counseling and maybe the occasional family counseling to help everyone adjust. You said they've been with you for a year but honestly, that's not really a long time when there's that much upheavel in their lives. If this is something that's started recently, it could be she's having a hard time dealing with things since it's the holiday season. That can be a big trigger for kids especially ones that have been removed from parental care. She could also be testing too. Even though you are blood family and want to adopt, she could be worried that you won't keep her and she'll have to move again.</p><p></p><p>There are so many possible reasons for this behaviour that I think counseling is a good place to start. If the behaviour isn't disorder related (ADHD, BiPolar, etc.) counseling is a great place for her to work through her hurt, confusion and uncertainty. And you may not even know everthing that happened to them in their bio home. It could also be that whatever the problem is, it won't be "fixed" right away. That's not to say it can't be helped or improved, just that it could very well take a while.</p><p></p><p>You've found a good support system and source of advice in this site. Others will be by shortly with more advice. Good luck!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mstang67chic, post: 107726, member: 2459"] Wow.....you've got a full house, don't you? Without knowing the full situation (why they were taken from bio mom, things they went through, etc.) I would have to say a couple of things. First, and you'll hear about this book alot here, get the book The Explosive Child by Ross Greene. It's been very helpful around here. Also, as it sounds like you got the kids straight from the abusive situation, there are bound to be some issues. If they aren't already, I really recommend getting them into counseling and maybe the occasional family counseling to help everyone adjust. You said they've been with you for a year but honestly, that's not really a long time when there's that much upheavel in their lives. If this is something that's started recently, it could be she's having a hard time dealing with things since it's the holiday season. That can be a big trigger for kids especially ones that have been removed from parental care. She could also be testing too. Even though you are blood family and want to adopt, she could be worried that you won't keep her and she'll have to move again. There are so many possible reasons for this behaviour that I think counseling is a good place to start. If the behaviour isn't disorder related (ADHD, BiPolar, etc.) counseling is a great place for her to work through her hurt, confusion and uncertainty. And you may not even know everthing that happened to them in their bio home. It could also be that whatever the problem is, it won't be "fixed" right away. That's not to say it can't be helped or improved, just that it could very well take a while. You've found a good support system and source of advice in this site. Others will be by shortly with more advice. Good luck! [/QUOTE]
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To Adopt or Not to Adopt---That is the question!
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