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General Parenting
To Adopt or Not to Adopt---That is the question!
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<blockquote data-quote="witzend" data-source="post: 108095" data-attributes="member: 99"><p>I have thought about this for a day or so. I can't say that I have ever been on your end of the situation, but I was a foster child for several years as a teen. I got moved around a lot, and many people told me the loved me, and was going to be a part of their family. Then when I didn't know the idiosyncrasies of their family, (like how they did the dishes, or laundry) and things got difficult, it was obvious that I really <em>wasn't</em> a part of their family. <em>Those</em> are the people I resented and still have no time for. </p><p></p><p>From my point of view, I think you would do everyone a favor to acknowledge and explore your doubts. Is there some reason that you <em>must</em> adopt these children right now? If you are not ready now with what help and information you have, you're not ready. I'm not saying that you shouldn't adopt, but that maybe you need to be more specific about what types of supports you will need to raise this child. Do you have an attorney who will negotiate hard for you, and for this little girl?</p><p></p><p>Maybe <em>now</em> isn't when this little girl needs you the most. Maybe she needs the state (or whoever is involved) to step it up before you take over. Maybe you will have more to offer her in the future. That doesn't mean she has to move out, just that you can set the bar higher for whoever is trying to get you to adopt her to do it correctly.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witzend, post: 108095, member: 99"] I have thought about this for a day or so. I can't say that I have ever been on your end of the situation, but I was a foster child for several years as a teen. I got moved around a lot, and many people told me the loved me, and was going to be a part of their family. Then when I didn't know the idiosyncrasies of their family, (like how they did the dishes, or laundry) and things got difficult, it was obvious that I really [i]wasn't[/i] a part of their family. [i]Those[/i] are the people I resented and still have no time for. From my point of view, I think you would do everyone a favor to acknowledge and explore your doubts. Is there some reason that you [i]must[/i] adopt these children right now? If you are not ready now with what help and information you have, you're not ready. I'm not saying that you shouldn't adopt, but that maybe you need to be more specific about what types of supports you will need to raise this child. Do you have an attorney who will negotiate hard for you, and for this little girl? Maybe [i]now[/i] isn't when this little girl needs you the most. Maybe she needs the state (or whoever is involved) to step it up before you take over. Maybe you will have more to offer her in the future. That doesn't mean she has to move out, just that you can set the bar higher for whoever is trying to get you to adopt her to do it correctly. [/QUOTE]
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To Adopt or Not to Adopt---That is the question!
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