to call or not to call

[crazymama30]

So hub has been a little interesting lately. Last Friday he went out with his friends supposedly to the bar to watch the fights. He has done this in the past and not drank, I was a little uneasy but I am not his mother. He got smashed. Was puking the next day, and he does not puke. He said he had about 20 rum and cokes. It is entirely possible that he did drink that much, but he could be making it up too. Told him that with all his medications he could kill himself....don't think he believes me.

Saturday he went out and spent $175 on groceries. We have plenty of food. He bought mainly junk food--canned macaroni and cheese??? I did not even know they made that. He has been trying to eat healthy as his cholesterol and triglycerides are sky high. He said he wanted a break from healthy for awhile.

Today went shopping--bought me, our dtr and himself new watches. Timexes, not real spendy but spendy for us. I usually spend 10 bucks on a watch, these were over $30 each.

Went to the auto parts store to get a new bulb for my head light, guy there does sound like he was a jerk, he was arguing with hub saying that our car does not exist. husband was arguing back, and then started to leave and another part guy went up to the first guy and they were talking and first guy says to second guy that he was glad he was there, he thought that guy (hub) was going to cause problems. Hub turned around and called him a d***head! Now the guy may have been, but in the past hub would have been able to leave.

I talked to hub, he says he is fine. I told him that when someone is hypomanic they can like how it feels, but it can lead to being manic or to depression. He tried to say that he is not bipolar, he was just depressed and now that is done. His eyes are funny. I asked him if I could call psychiatrist tommorrow, he said he is fine, I am just freaking out.

Oh, and he went and got a food box! I don't have a problem with that, but we did not need it. We just got out taxes and I majorly stocked up plus what he boought on Saturday. We have so much cereal I have to put some of the boxes on the counter. We do meet the income requirements, get foodstamps, but I don't like to use resources we do not need.

So should I call psychiatrist tommorrow even though hub does not want me to? Should I wait till Thursday and see if he evens out, maybe he is just in a good mood? psychiatrist does not work Fridays. Hub has an appointment to see psychiatrist next Thursday, but I don't know if I should wait or call. I don't know if it really is just me being paranoid. I will bring it up with my therapist on Thursday, but I am getting really concerned.

I posted this on another forum for adult bipolar family support, but have always gotten good advice here and wanted to see what opinions those here have.

 

[Steely]

Yes, I would call the psychiatrist if that is input the psychiatrist appreciates. He sounds quite manic to me. Geez, 20 rum and cokes at a bar would be close to 200.00. Did he really spend that much?
I am so sorry you are going through this.

 

[jal]

I am not an expert as an individual, but have a mother in law who is BiPolar (BP) II. She has put husband and I through the wringer over the years. It sounds like he is manic. With the drinking, spending and the confrontational behavior. You mention his eyes. This can definitely be part of it, but any chance of other substance abuse, especially if he is manic?

I too am sorry you are going through this and I too would call the psychiatrist. Don't wait..

 

[flutterby]

Sounds manic to me, too. Call.

 

[tiredmommy]

I doubt he's going to even out on his own or recognize that he needs help. Call.

 

[witzend]

I used to have a customer when I worked at the grocery store who was insulin dependent diabetic. I never saw her buy alcohol. I do know that she had mental health issues. When her blood sugar would get whacked out, she would come to the store and fill her shopping cart with quarts of cottage cheese and gallons of milk. She'd also get a bit combative, and didn't comprehend what was being said to her. We would call EMS and they would come and get her insulin levels corrected.

Is it possible that your husband is having any diabetic problems, with or without drinking? Drinking and untreated diabetes would be a disaster.

 

[crazymama30]

His friend bought him the drinks. I gave him several hundred dollars when we got our tax refund. I wanted to be fair, I spent some money on stuff I wanted--some on stuff that I needed. Now I wonder if I triggered all of this by giving him as much cash as I did? oh well, can't change that now. He does not know the real amount we got, he would have blown it all. We got a whopper of a refund.

Last weekend when I was at the hotsprings he and difficult child went to several movies, to a video game place and played for 3 hours.


I was supposed to go out tommorrow to dinner with some nurses and a doctor. The dinner is being hosted by a product rep, is at a nice restaurant, one I could never afford to go to. I really wanted to go, but now am not so sure I should. sigh.

I will call psychiatrist tommorrow, and hope husband will go in if psychiatrist wants to see him. I think husband is afraid he is going to be put in the psychiatric hospital again. I told him that is voluntary (he does not view it as that, he thinks psychiatrist and I locked him up). I told him the last thing I want is for him to be there, that I would much rather he be home. I don't know if I even want to go to work tommorrow. But then what will I gain by staying home? I will take the kids to school, and husband is supposed to pick them up. Luckily tommorrow I work in the dept where I can leave at the drop of a hat if I need to, so I will make sure the kids have their phones and have them call me if he does not show up. I think he will, but I am not completely sure of anything right now

 

[crazymama30]

He's not diabetic. Just had complete bloodwork done a few months back. I wish that was the problem. He has been a little off for awhile, but it was minor. Now he is escalating.

 

[DammitJanet]

Definitely call. Something is off and he sounds on the upper end of hypomanic leading into a manic state. That much going out and running around, that much over shopping, that much irritability and the grandiose behavior is over the top.

doctor needs to know this pronto.

 

[crazymama30]

I put together a report, for lack of a better term, and will fax it to psychiatrist tommorrow after I call his offic and tell them I am faxing it. It is too much to explain over the phone, and I want to make sure I don't forget anything.

He just got back from the gym and now seems perfectly fine! I so don't get this.

 

[gcvmom]

Just cuz he seems fine now doesn't mean he wasn't having a problem earlier. And he sounds SO much like my husband when he gets (in my opinion) hypomanic: impulsive shopping, funny look in his eyes, arguing with strangers over stupid stuff, insisting he is fine and it's everyone else that has the problem, lots of pleasurable activities. I had to laugh about the junk food and canned mac and cheese -- could've been describing my husband's buying habits. And yes, HIS cholesterol numbers are really bad, too -- so much so he had to start medications for it last year (and does he change his eating habits? Well were's the fun in THAT?)

Yes, do call, do report. Because husband won't. Since everything is just fine, fine, FINE.

 

[GoingNorth]

I'M BPII and he sounds classically manic to me. Or he WAS manic. You can cycle that rapidly. I do get hypomanic even with medications, but I have gone outright manic a few times and with me it only lasts a few days before I cycle back down.

The drinking is scary. If he had twenty rum and cokes (literally), then he took about 8 oz of pure alcohol. He's LUCKY he didn't wind up KILLING himself with that much.

AND, the person who bought him the drinks was highly irresponsible to keep on buying when it was obvious that husband was becoming intoxicated.