To God; from the dog...

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Kjs, Mar 30, 2009.

  1. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    TO: GOD FROM: THE DOG

    Dear God: Is it on purpose our names are the same, only reversed?

    Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

    Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?

    Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a Dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?

    Dear God: If a Dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad Dog?

    Dear God: We Dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

    Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

    Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

    Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good Dog:
    1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
    2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
    3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar..
    4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.
    5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
    6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
    7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.
    8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table
    9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.
    10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt on the carpet...
    11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.
    12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.



    P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?



    'Until one has loved an animal, part of their soul remains unawakened'
     
  2. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    There were little picture's of dogs by each statement, but I couldn't get it to copy.
     
  3. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    That was cute. With three dogs in our home, I could picture one of them doing one of the described behaviors! We must really love them.♥
     
  4. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Not only funny and cute, but EXACTLY what the dogs we have owned have thought!!!

    Esp the very last one.
     
  5. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Oh, that was adorable!
    Thanks Kjs.
     
  6. klmno

    klmno Active Member

  7. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    Too funny as I'm looking at Rockstar and he's doing most of what is on the list.

    Abbey
     
  8. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    :rofl:

    Right on target every one of them! haha
     
  9. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I just had my long-haired dog groomed a couple of weeks ago- she was so pretty and smelled real nice. She has rolled in old dried leaves about 3 times since then. Would you like to know what she looks like and smells like now? Is there any cure for this? I have a fenced yard and hate the thought of having to leash her and stand over her every time she goes out to potty and get some fresh air.
     
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