Both my sons were adopted at birth..... The other day I was busy in the study and overheard my sons conversation at the front door. The one girl friend outside asked him why his brother doesn't look like him....they are both from the same race but one has dark hair and the other little one is very blond with blue eyes....So my son announced it's because they are adopted....people around us doesn't know this, because I believe it is their truth to tell, to whom they prefer....Both my kids know they were adopted and what the circumstances were.....So the girl keeps on....asking if he ever met his " real " parents, he answers, no....would he like to meet them...he says yes maybe some day....Then they keep on asking...later I interfered and just said, we are also his real parents....so my son just said...when they asked more questions..." what ever"....I felt so bad afterwords because I knew I should have kept my month shut....I don't know if I did they right thing afterwards but I spoke to my son and tried to explain that he doesn't have to share this info with every one, or if he doesn't feel comfortable.....I also told him that some people don't understand adoption and might say things that can hurt his feelings...Obviously he said...like what....so I said like telling you your real parents threw you away ( I worry that I might have put thoughts in his head now....but wanted him to practice appropriate responses).....he said he will tell them it's not true...that they gave him up for adoption because they didn't have enough money.... My question to other parents, especially with a kid on the autism spectrum.....how and what do you teach your child regarding sharing adoption info, because he doesn't really have the insight about what and where is appropriate and I worry that he might not be able to handle all the questions? I told him if they ever ask him things he doesn't want to answer he can only say he doesn't know or it's private..... I asked him why he wanted to share this and he said because he wants to tell his friends.....I got the impression he feels proud of it ( I am so great full for that).....but he doesn't yet understand how cruel and insensitive people can be! Oh and we came up with an idea to talk about his bioparents as birth mother and birth father..... His teacher doesn't know that he has been adopted....after this I wondered if we might have to tell her for if some similar thing happens at school...or do we just hang in there and wait it out...? She still needs to get to know him and understands all his special needs.....don't know if more labels are needed now?