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To stepmothers...a question please
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 458903" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>As far as school, at least here there MUST be a copy of the custody order in the child's file. The custodial parent or parents can put names of anyone they want to be able to pick up the child on file. This is how daycares can pick up kids. If there is no copy of the custody order, the child is not allowed to leave school until it is there. I know because it caused a very late evening for one of the office people at the elem school because neither parent bothered to drop off the order when they registered the child. It was a year ago that this happened. First day of school the parents had been warned that they could NOT pick up the child and child could not go to daycare or with anyone at all until they had the order filed. Our schools demand teh custody order if parents are divorced and usually they won't even let a child attend until it is on file. Now husband and I have never had to show our marriage license to prove we are not divorced or anything, and either of us can sign off on anything at the school. I guess if the parent said that they were married and were the bio parents then they could get around it. </p><p></p><p>As far as medical care, it depends on the facility. I have kept a note at my parents that has ins info and says they have permission to take the kids for any medical treatment neccessary. Back when we lived out of state and they took the kids for a week or two in the summer some years they had to have that or they couldn't get medical care for them. Here they ask, and again demand copies of custody orders. When Wiz went to live with my parents I went and gave notes to the doctor's office and the school. I got a couple of calls about did I really mean that they were allowed to authorize this or that, but mostly that was all that was needed.</p><p></p><p>If a step parent just doesn't act like the child is not their own, many places likely would not ask. One of the big things is will the step pay the bill - if yes then some places just don't care. Years back, when I was a kid, my parents' bff's son was ALWAYS hurting himself. He did the stupidest stunts and by age thirty was told that the next serious head blow would kill him - not just one doctor's opinion, three diff neuros looked at his MRI and were shocked he was walking, talking, breathing and not wearing diapers. This kid hurt himself <em>that much</em> and not just his head - has broken at least every major bone including his hip (twice) and each rib multiple times. My parents took him to the ER many times and either claimed him as one of us or else said they were his aunt and uncle (which they basically were - my dad was the only real father he ever had in spite of all his mother's marriages - she is now on number nine though there were only seven guys). Back then no one asked about if they could prove the relationship - usually they were far too worried about treating the kid than about who was signing the forms. </p><p></p><p>With step parents the other parent, if they have shared custody, can raise an unholy fit and keep the step from doing much as far as medical care, school. But it is murky water - not all places will care as long as the step parent is decent to the kid.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 458903, member: 1233"] As far as school, at least here there MUST be a copy of the custody order in the child's file. The custodial parent or parents can put names of anyone they want to be able to pick up the child on file. This is how daycares can pick up kids. If there is no copy of the custody order, the child is not allowed to leave school until it is there. I know because it caused a very late evening for one of the office people at the elem school because neither parent bothered to drop off the order when they registered the child. It was a year ago that this happened. First day of school the parents had been warned that they could NOT pick up the child and child could not go to daycare or with anyone at all until they had the order filed. Our schools demand teh custody order if parents are divorced and usually they won't even let a child attend until it is on file. Now husband and I have never had to show our marriage license to prove we are not divorced or anything, and either of us can sign off on anything at the school. I guess if the parent said that they were married and were the bio parents then they could get around it. As far as medical care, it depends on the facility. I have kept a note at my parents that has ins info and says they have permission to take the kids for any medical treatment neccessary. Back when we lived out of state and they took the kids for a week or two in the summer some years they had to have that or they couldn't get medical care for them. Here they ask, and again demand copies of custody orders. When Wiz went to live with my parents I went and gave notes to the doctor's office and the school. I got a couple of calls about did I really mean that they were allowed to authorize this or that, but mostly that was all that was needed. If a step parent just doesn't act like the child is not their own, many places likely would not ask. One of the big things is will the step pay the bill - if yes then some places just don't care. Years back, when I was a kid, my parents' bff's son was ALWAYS hurting himself. He did the stupidest stunts and by age thirty was told that the next serious head blow would kill him - not just one doctor's opinion, three diff neuros looked at his MRI and were shocked he was walking, talking, breathing and not wearing diapers. This kid hurt himself [I]that much[/I] and not just his head - has broken at least every major bone including his hip (twice) and each rib multiple times. My parents took him to the ER many times and either claimed him as one of us or else said they were his aunt and uncle (which they basically were - my dad was the only real father he ever had in spite of all his mother's marriages - she is now on number nine though there were only seven guys). Back then no one asked about if they could prove the relationship - usually they were far too worried about treating the kid than about who was signing the forms. With step parents the other parent, if they have shared custody, can raise an unholy fit and keep the step from doing much as far as medical care, school. But it is murky water - not all places will care as long as the step parent is decent to the kid. [/QUOTE]
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