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To tell or not to tell?
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 555328" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>CB, it must be difficult for you to hide such a big piece of who you are and I'm sorry you've felt you had to do that. And, I also understand why you would. For me, what has always worked best is to take the risk and be honest especially with someone whom I love and who loves me. And, I realize it is a risk. However, by editing out parts of yourself, you are not being true to yourself nor offering yourself entirely to the other person. It may give him pause as he has to adjust to a change, but he may be willing to make that internal adjustment and then be more willing to listen to your point of view concerning medication. He will have to give up his judgments about medication, and hopefully he will be able to do that. If he can't, then at least you will know now and not later when you might be more invested. </p><p></p><p>It's scary to tell someone the total truth about ourselves, that's true for any of us, but for you, it's made more challenging because you have something many folks just don't understand. But true intimacy is being "known" by someone, it's allowing another to know all of our parts, not just the ones in the light, but the ones in the dark as well. And, we ALL have the dark parts as well, just different ones.</p><p></p><p>As you know, I have many close relatives who have various mental anomalies (including quite a few who are bi-polar) and even though it causes struggles and pain, I think they are very unique and very interesting people. Your boyfriend may have to give up his judgments but he can gain YOU with all your unique and interesting traits. It appears you plan on telling him your truth at some point, the question at this point is, is now the right time? You are the only one who can determine the timing on that. If it is beginning to surface for you, then I would guess that it's bubbling up for a reason, the time is either here or soon. You absolutely deserve to have someone love ALL of you, which includes the bi-polar you, it's part of who you are. And, from reading your posts and getting to know you from that, I find you quite endearing and lovable, as I'm sure he does. (((HUGS)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 555328, member: 13542"] CB, it must be difficult for you to hide such a big piece of who you are and I'm sorry you've felt you had to do that. And, I also understand why you would. For me, what has always worked best is to take the risk and be honest especially with someone whom I love and who loves me. And, I realize it is a risk. However, by editing out parts of yourself, you are not being true to yourself nor offering yourself entirely to the other person. It may give him pause as he has to adjust to a change, but he may be willing to make that internal adjustment and then be more willing to listen to your point of view concerning medication. He will have to give up his judgments about medication, and hopefully he will be able to do that. If he can't, then at least you will know now and not later when you might be more invested. It's scary to tell someone the total truth about ourselves, that's true for any of us, but for you, it's made more challenging because you have something many folks just don't understand. But true intimacy is being "known" by someone, it's allowing another to know all of our parts, not just the ones in the light, but the ones in the dark as well. And, we ALL have the dark parts as well, just different ones. As you know, I have many close relatives who have various mental anomalies (including quite a few who are bi-polar) and even though it causes struggles and pain, I think they are very unique and very interesting people. Your boyfriend may have to give up his judgments but he can gain YOU with all your unique and interesting traits. It appears you plan on telling him your truth at some point, the question at this point is, is now the right time? You are the only one who can determine the timing on that. If it is beginning to surface for you, then I would guess that it's bubbling up for a reason, the time is either here or soon. You absolutely deserve to have someone love ALL of you, which includes the bi-polar you, it's part of who you are. And, from reading your posts and getting to know you from that, I find you quite endearing and lovable, as I'm sure he does. (((HUGS))) [/QUOTE]
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