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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 644784" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>"But I'm not going to go that way."</p><p></p><p>That is the question. How in the world do we know how to do this, how to see it?</p><p></p><p>The answer is somewhere in staying out of it, like husband says. In not being afraid to face it but in not being responsible for it, either.</p><p></p><p>I remember when I would be angry about who difficult child daughter or even, difficult child son, seemed to have become. I would be heart-level offended, when I would know they had lied right to my face, or taken things from me or from other people.</p><p></p><p>I remember the first time I moved to protect someone vulnerable from difficult child daughter and realized I had done so.</p><p></p><p>And realized what that meant.</p><p></p><p>I remember the weirdness of knowing difficult child son had done something wrong, something bad that involved theft but was never quite cleared up when we sent him to husband' brother to be straightened up. </p><p></p><p>Those were such terrible disappointments.</p><p></p><p>They hurt my heart, to know them.</p><p></p><p>I am so sorry, Albatross. I pray with all my heart that your son has learned that who he was raised to be is who he is and who he wants to be.</p><p></p><p>***</p><p></p><p>It is very much harder to know we are standing where we mean to stand when other parents perform, for our difficult children, the very actions we forbid ourselves from taking. </p><p></p><p>It is very much harder then, not to question ourselves about what we thought we knew we saw.</p><p></p><p>But we are here together now, and we can help one another see our ways through it, one incident at a time.</p><p></p><p>No worries at all about hijacking any of my threads, Albatross. Each of us has insight into different aspects of what is happening with our kids, or of where we refuse to see, or of how we can help one another face those really hard things we don't want to know. Each of us posts in, pulling the thread one way or another and so, we see true things that might never have been exposed, otherwise.</p><p></p><p>I am deeply grateful for this site, and for each of you.</p><p></p><p>I laughed so hard about the heading toward the ditch when you read about the FB post!</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 644784, member: 17461"] "But I'm not going to go that way." That is the question. How in the world do we know how to do this, how to see it? The answer is somewhere in staying out of it, like husband says. In not being afraid to face it but in not being responsible for it, either. I remember when I would be angry about who difficult child daughter or even, difficult child son, seemed to have become. I would be heart-level offended, when I would know they had lied right to my face, or taken things from me or from other people. I remember the first time I moved to protect someone vulnerable from difficult child daughter and realized I had done so. And realized what that meant. I remember the weirdness of knowing difficult child son had done something wrong, something bad that involved theft but was never quite cleared up when we sent him to husband' brother to be straightened up. Those were such terrible disappointments. They hurt my heart, to know them. I am so sorry, Albatross. I pray with all my heart that your son has learned that who he was raised to be is who he is and who he wants to be. *** It is very much harder to know we are standing where we mean to stand when other parents perform, for our difficult children, the very actions we forbid ourselves from taking. It is very much harder then, not to question ourselves about what we thought we knew we saw. But we are here together now, and we can help one another see our ways through it, one incident at a time. No worries at all about hijacking any of my threads, Albatross. Each of us has insight into different aspects of what is happening with our kids, or of where we refuse to see, or of how we can help one another face those really hard things we don't want to know. Each of us posts in, pulling the thread one way or another and so, we see true things that might never have been exposed, otherwise. I am deeply grateful for this site, and for each of you. I laughed so hard about the heading toward the ditch when you read about the FB post! :O) Cedar [/QUOTE]
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