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Parent Emeritus
To Tell the Truth
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 645540" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>What your son said to you is just plain mean. You didn't know he was going to have mental illness. What crapola from them. Yet the more we expect it, because THAT IS WHO THEY ARE, the less it hurts us. When my son is under stress and says something crazy like "You #*@(%...you are the worst mother on earth!!!!" I just repeat to myself these days, "This is what he says when he is under stress. It would not be him if he DID NOT say these hurtful things. It is his very dysfunctional way of coping with his own stress...he blames everyone else and says horrible things." Then, since I no longer tolerate anyone abusing me, I gently hang up the phone for another day.</p><p></p><p>Once I started expecting people to act like the people they are (and that means people who say horrible things WILL say horrible things) that took some of the sting out of it. They are who they are.</p><p></p><p>Radical acceptance.</p><p></p><p>It rocks.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 645540, member: 1550"] What your son said to you is just plain mean. You didn't know he was going to have mental illness. What crapola from them. Yet the more we expect it, because THAT IS WHO THEY ARE, the less it hurts us. When my son is under stress and says something crazy like "You #*@(%...you are the worst mother on earth!!!!" I just repeat to myself these days, "This is what he says when he is under stress. It would not be him if he DID NOT say these hurtful things. It is his very dysfunctional way of coping with his own stress...he blames everyone else and says horrible things." Then, since I no longer tolerate anyone abusing me, I gently hang up the phone for another day. Once I started expecting people to act like the people they are (and that means people who say horrible things WILL say horrible things) that took some of the sting out of it. They are who they are. Radical acceptance. It rocks. [/QUOTE]
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