Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
To Tell the Truth
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 656170" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>I went back and found this thread for one of us because toward the end of the thread, we were posting about the kind of affirmation that happens when our children have been successfully raised (note the underlying guilt in that description), and about how awful it feels, not to have that kind of affirmation.</p><p></p><p>So, I was having a look at it, this morning.</p><p></p><p><em>I found the difference between us and those other moms. We take our children seriously. They don't.</em></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>This is a hard admission.</p><p></p><p>The things we are required to face about our own children in order not to be destroyed by them are so freaking, impossibly hard. <em>We have created monsters of them. Why doesn't matter. We need to stop.</em></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>This is so true. How is it we never see the manipulation behind those accusations? It must be, I mean, it could be, that this is how we justify using one another to ourselves. (Note how carefully I am not looking at exactly which of us it is who would be justifying him or herself in that way. I do not want to put this away leaving either of my children holding the bag.)</p><p></p><p>Holding the bag for what they have done, some evil little part, some part that could skip away scot free, hisses.</p><p></p><p>That is an important distinction, for me. Maybe, that is why I cannot allow myself to let this go. I am going to begin listening more closely to moms who see their kids with jaundiced eyes <em>and I just now realized that both those women I love/hate</em> seem not to be overly enamored with their kids.</p><p></p><p>With the freaking Yale professor kid. And now the other one has a kid who is a professor too and his brother is a pediatrician and <em>neither of them is all that impressed with their kids.</em></p><p></p><p>So...why am I?</p><p></p><p>Maybe there is something here for us, some way for us to get free.</p><p></p><p>I am sure there is something here.</p><p></p><p>Guilt, instead of ~ how are these women seeing their kids. That is how I am going to pattern myself to see mine. Who cares if hers is a professor and mine is...is not.</p><p></p><p>Times two.</p><p></p><p>And mine is not, in two cases.</p><p></p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/Graemlins/9-07tears.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":9-07tears:" title="crying :9-07tears:" data-shortname=":9-07tears:" /></p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 656170, member: 17461"] I went back and found this thread for one of us because toward the end of the thread, we were posting about the kind of affirmation that happens when our children have been successfully raised (note the underlying guilt in that description), and about how awful it feels, not to have that kind of affirmation. So, I was having a look at it, this morning. [I]I found the difference between us and those other moms. We take our children seriously. They don't.[/I] This is a hard admission. The things we are required to face about our own children in order not to be destroyed by them are so freaking, impossibly hard. [I]We have created monsters of them. Why doesn't matter. We need to stop.[/I] This is so true. How is it we never see the manipulation behind those accusations? It must be, I mean, it could be, that this is how we justify using one another to ourselves. (Note how carefully I am not looking at exactly which of us it is who would be justifying him or herself in that way. I do not want to put this away leaving either of my children holding the bag.) Holding the bag for what they have done, some evil little part, some part that could skip away scot free, hisses. That is an important distinction, for me. Maybe, that is why I cannot allow myself to let this go. I am going to begin listening more closely to moms who see their kids with jaundiced eyes [I]and I just now realized that both those women I love/hate[/I] seem not to be overly enamored with their kids. With the freaking Yale professor kid. And now the other one has a kid who is a professor too and his brother is a pediatrician and [I]neither of them is all that impressed with their kids.[/I] So...why am I? Maybe there is something here for us, some way for us to get free. I am sure there is something here. Guilt, instead of ~ how are these women seeing their kids. That is how I am going to pattern myself to see mine. Who cares if hers is a professor and mine is...is not. Times two. And mine is not, in two cases. :9-07tears: Cedar [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
To Tell the Truth
Top