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Today I told him he had to leave
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 683554" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>I am sorry SRTL, that 30 minutes when everything slows down but the mind races and you catch your breath between heartbeats. And we love our kids but we just want them to go, because it is so utterly weird, scary and painful to see them in this state.</p><p> I have seen my two like this, it is altogether eye opening, maddening, horrific and heart wrenching. At the same time, reconfirms that it is way <em>beyond our power and capability </em>at this point to "fix". It doesn't make it feel any better, and<em> still we love them.</em> Harder again for us when the insults fly and the under the breath or shouted out inferences that we do not care. The problem is that we care way more than they do about themselves.</p><p>So we carry on with our daily lives in a shocky kind of other world, put our work clothes and faces on switch gears and try not to keep ruminating over the insanity of it all. Rinse, repeat, rise, fall, get up, <em>one foot forward. </em>Some days better than others and then the <em>next encounter or sighting.</em></p><p></p><p>What a bizarre existence for them and for us.</p><p></p><p>How mighty and incredibly strong we are, even at our weakest most desperate points. As I write this, I am off to work, where I exist in another realm entirely different from this world we are in working so hard to build ourselves up, whatever is happening with our d cs.</p><p></p><p>If only we could be genies, cross our arms wiggle our noses, blink our eyes and make everything okay.........I think I will visualize that for the day.</p><p>Then say my mantra she is out there finding her way.</p><p>There is nothing we could do or say to make it different. But, we can still love them and hope for better.</p><p>We can still work really hard to be kind to ourselves.</p><p>I hope you are able to do that SRTL. Be kind and gentle with yourself.</p><p>You are a strong warrior sister.</p><p>(((Hugs)))</p><p>Leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 683554, member: 19522"] I am sorry SRTL, that 30 minutes when everything slows down but the mind races and you catch your breath between heartbeats. And we love our kids but we just want them to go, because it is so utterly weird, scary and painful to see them in this state. I have seen my two like this, it is altogether eye opening, maddening, horrific and heart wrenching. At the same time, reconfirms that it is way [I]beyond our power and capability [/I]at this point to "fix". It doesn't make it feel any better, and[I] still we love them.[/I] Harder again for us when the insults fly and the under the breath or shouted out inferences that we do not care. The problem is that we care way more than they do about themselves. So we carry on with our daily lives in a shocky kind of other world, put our work clothes and faces on switch gears and try not to keep ruminating over the insanity of it all. Rinse, repeat, rise, fall, get up, [I]one foot forward. [/I]Some days better than others and then the [I]next encounter or sighting.[/I] What a bizarre existence for them and for us. How mighty and incredibly strong we are, even at our weakest most desperate points. As I write this, I am off to work, where I exist in another realm entirely different from this world we are in working so hard to build ourselves up, whatever is happening with our d cs. If only we could be genies, cross our arms wiggle our noses, blink our eyes and make everything okay.........I think I will visualize that for the day. Then say my mantra she is out there finding her way. There is nothing we could do or say to make it different. But, we can still love them and hope for better. We can still work really hard to be kind to ourselves. I hope you are able to do that SRTL. Be kind and gentle with yourself. You are a strong warrior sister. (((Hugs))) Leafy [/QUOTE]
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