today in court
- Thread starter ctmom05
- Start date
FlowerGarden
Active Member
Hugs to you.
Star*
call 911........call 911
CTMom-
I sat here, and just a million things went through my mind for you in a generic sort of way having never met you, your husband or your son. Trying to think of what similarities there have been for all of us over the years; the struggles, the dreams that have reinvented and changed, been altered, lost. Watching our sons make poor decisions, then baby steps towards becoming men. Wishing at times we'd never ever heard of Conduct Disorder or any other mental illness, or the words Tough Love, detachment, therapy, IEP, police station, arrest, felony, prison, jail, It's maddening. It's like a bad dream come true that you wish you could just wake up from and have a different dream from, wake up again and make it all different. I've had that dream so many times sometimes the lines between reality and my own fantasy are so skewed when I did wake I had to pinch myself to know exactly which reality I was in.
I hurt for you. More than you know, because over the years this board and it's members have been like family. You're not an island although I think you think because of what my nephew did? You are all alone. Well, here's some news for you - I still care very much about you, and I still care very much about him, and I'll never stop praying for him to be safe while he is where he is. I've just got to believe that he will be there, safe, learn, be humbled - and while it may not seem like it now - because it wouldn't seem like it to me either at the moment - he's going to be okay.
Please keep in touch.....and let me know how he is doing. If you would do that I'd so appreciate it. If you'd allow me? I'd send that kid a Christmas Card every year so he'd know I'm thinking of him.
Again - Just know you're loved - and so is he. Okay?
Hugs
Star
I sat here, and just a million things went through my mind for you in a generic sort of way having never met you, your husband or your son. Trying to think of what similarities there have been for all of us over the years; the struggles, the dreams that have reinvented and changed, been altered, lost. Watching our sons make poor decisions, then baby steps towards becoming men. Wishing at times we'd never ever heard of Conduct Disorder or any other mental illness, or the words Tough Love, detachment, therapy, IEP, police station, arrest, felony, prison, jail, It's maddening. It's like a bad dream come true that you wish you could just wake up from and have a different dream from, wake up again and make it all different. I've had that dream so many times sometimes the lines between reality and my own fantasy are so skewed when I did wake I had to pinch myself to know exactly which reality I was in.
I hurt for you. More than you know, because over the years this board and it's members have been like family. You're not an island although I think you think because of what my nephew did? You are all alone. Well, here's some news for you - I still care very much about you, and I still care very much about him, and I'll never stop praying for him to be safe while he is where he is. I've just got to believe that he will be there, safe, learn, be humbled - and while it may not seem like it now - because it wouldn't seem like it to me either at the moment - he's going to be okay.
Please keep in touch.....and let me know how he is doing. If you would do that I'd so appreciate it. If you'd allow me? I'd send that kid a Christmas Card every year so he'd know I'm thinking of him.
Again - Just know you're loved - and so is he. Okay?
Hugs
Star
gottaloveem
Active Member
sending supportive hugs your way (((HUGS)))
Love,
Lia
Love,
Lia
witzend
Well-Known Member
There are not many people in the world who will understand that you have been an exceptional mother to an exceptional child and that sometimes those exceptional children end up doing something that ends up with them being in jail after an agonizingly long slow stop in their development. We here know all that you did and do not judge you or your family. Big hugs to you all.
DDD
Well-Known Member
So many of us have feared what you are now facing. There is a degree of understanding that comes from those of us who have had difficult child's skirting the rules. Truly my heart breaks for you while, selfishly, I feel so much relief that we did not end up with such a horrible challenge. We truly know that you can do all that you can do and still end up having to cope with terrible repercussions. Sending caring thoughts and hugs your way. DDD
rejectedmom
New Member
Chris, I wrote a post earlier but it is not showing up. I am so very sorry that this is the sentance the courts gave your son. My heart is breaking for you and your husband. I know how hard you worked trying to raise up a son who would live a respectful life. I know the pain of having a son in prison. I know the fear and the hurt and the worry that goes along with it. I will remember you in my prayers. May your heart heal and may you find peace in the knowledge that you did your very best. hugs, RM
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sickandtired1
Doing the right thing
I can only imagine how you feel. This is heartbreaking. I am currently struggling with the same serious situation and trying to understand how did this happen to my family. It never leaves your mind. I look at people and tear up thinking that could be my son living a normal life. My son is sitting in jail awaiting a sentence that could be 15 years as well. We are praying for less, but the question remains, how/why did this happen. My son also never participated in any rehab attempts, keep making the same stupid mistakes. He didn't seem to learn from his mistakes despite all our efforts. Why is that? What could we have done differently? Maybe nothing, maybe it is just out of our control. Thinking like this is helping me come to terms with what happened.
Fran
Former desparate mom
Chris, I have not been around much and I apologize for not seeing this until now. My heart goes out to you and those lost dreams of just a regular kid who grows up to be a regular adult. Mom's of difficult child's don't ask for much. Just a chance for our kids to figure it out before they do damage to themselves, their lives and their family.
You did everything you could and then some. I think realization of the consequences hits us at different levels. Part of you must be relieved that it's over but deep down is the soul of a mother screaming to protect her child from himself.
I wish I could wrap my arms around you and cry with you.
You did everything you could and then some. I think realization of the consequences hits us at different levels. Part of you must be relieved that it's over but deep down is the soul of a mother screaming to protect her child from himself.
I wish I could wrap my arms around you and cry with you.
WhymeMom?
No real answers to life..
Sorry this has happened. Our son will be getting out next year after a five year stint....... almost wished it had been longer....... horrible to say, but at least I knew where he was and that he had a place to sleep....... I don't know your prison system, but in our state the worst thing is BOREDOM.... if he is so inclined try to get him into classes or programs to keep him busy (if these things are even available in your state)...... I hope for your sake he will try to be low profile and will stay out of trouble within the system........sometimes thru no fault of his he may irritate the wrong person........ Thinking of you Chris as you travel this road...........
You are not alone. I know at this moment you feel that way. Sending you a hug and a PM.
This is not your fault. You did not cause it and could not control or cure it. He will be your son forever and will need you to be his support, and I know you will be. Sorry I am so late in coming, I just had an inkling to check this forum today and just learned this.
This is not your fault. You did not cause it and could not control or cure it. He will be your son forever and will need you to be his support, and I know you will be. Sorry I am so late in coming, I just had an inkling to check this forum today and just learned this.
