Today is the Day :(

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by DenitaS, Sep 18, 2008.

  1. DenitaS

    DenitaS New Member

    So, today has been pretty rough so far and we haven't even made it to the meeting yet!!! She found out that Social Services would be there and flipped out. Telling me that if we took her son she would hurt us. I told her that we didn't want to take him we just wanted her to be better for him. She told me that she didnt' need me to help with him anymore she would find someone else. Then, called me an hour later to ask if I could keep him so she could "cool down". Of course, I agreed. We are just at a loss today. THis is how she is ALL the time and we can't keep up anymore!!!
     
  2. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    That's got to be hard for you to see her go through! She's lucky she has you and husband to see to it that she and her baby are looked after. Motherhood is tough enough in the early months, but to be a very young mother and BiPolar (BP) to boot is just way too much pressure to put on an already fragile system.

    Good luck at the meeting today!
     
  3. DramaQueenLucy

    DramaQueenLucy New Member

    Just wondering how things went today? You have been in my thoughts today. I know this must be very hard on everyone.
     
  4. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Me too- I hope things are ok.
     
  5. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Oh dear, she is uptight and a mess.
    You are a wonderful support person!!!

    How did it go the rest of the day?
     
  6. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    Denita - you've been in my thoughts today. How did the meeting go?

    Hope you had a peaceful evening!!
     
  7. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Sending good thoughts. I have been thinking of you today.

    Susie
     
  8. DenitaS

    DenitaS New Member

    Thanks for all the well wishes.
    Things went REALLY bad. She flipped out 10 minutes into the meeting and they called a judge and took custody of the baby (he is with us right now) They decided to commit her and get her stable on her medications. WE have court this morning to see what will happen with the baby. And, of course, It is all our fault, we did this and she hates us.
    I will update everyone after court and let you know how it went.
    Thanks again for all the prayers and support!
     
  9. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Denita, that might not be 'really bad' if she gets the help she needs. It might be the best thing that could have happened.

    Fingers crossed things run smoothly and she responds and cooperates to treatment.
     
  10. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    Denita,

    I cannot begin to imagine how difficult this must have been for you but I agree with Busy - I think this may in the long run be a good thing for your family, especially daughter and grandson. For her to be threatening you before the meeting - she sounded pretty unstable to me.

    Please don't let her verbal garbage get to you (I know, it's hard). This is not your fault. She may hate you today but... oh well. She needs to step up and be a good parent to her son, and behave appropriately in your home and in the community. If she cannot, safeguards need to be put in place. It's on *her* shoulders, not your's. I know you know this, but sometimes it's hard to remember in the face of a raging kid.

    Hang in there, Denita. I hope things go relatively smoothly this morning and once court is over, you get a chance to be good to yourself. Thinking of you.
     
  11. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Denita,
    what an ordeal!
    I am so sorry you didn't get to take the baby home, but courts do what is most expedient and least complicated. Sigh.
    I agree with-slsh, that you cannot take any of this personally. She is sick. She is blaming others for her behavior. She needs help.
    Maybe she will get it now.
    I've got my fingers crossed.
    {{hugs}}
     
  12. DramaQueenLucy

    DramaQueenLucy New Member

    Oh I am so sorry but hope that she will now get help. I really hope that all goes well in court today.
     
  13. DenitaS

    DenitaS New Member

    Well................. court was a very long wait and a very quick hearing. They decided to grant us temporary custody and we have another hearing on the 3rd!!! I think that his father is going to fight for full custody and I am not sure what I should do at this point?? He hasn't had much to do with him up to this point and is now concerned about everything. We have been the one stable thing in his life and have been the sole supporters of him to date.
    What would you do???
    Thanks for all the support!!! I really do need to hear the well wishes right now.
     
  14. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Denita,

    I am so sorry. I know it is hard to see your child being that unstable. I hope that being in the psychiatric hospital iwll help your daughter become stable ASAP so that she can be the parent she needs to be for the baby. I also hope that she can lose the hatred and blame she feels toward you and your husband.

    As for custody, has the father been active at all toward the baby? IS he over 18? Is HIS family willing to help him support the baby? Are they decent people and good parents? If the baby is over 2 months old and he hasn't seen the baby much, then he doesn't sound like a great choice for fatherhood. But if you have the baby and your daughter comes to your home after teh hospital, will she then hurt or blame the baby out of anger for you? I don't ahve ANY wisdome in this kind of situation, but I do hope that whatever decision is made turns out to be the best for the baby. I also hope that no matter what you and your husband are allowed to be in your grandchild's life.

    Sending many hugs and wished for the best.
     
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