Today & Thank You

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Janna, Aug 13, 2007.

  1. Janna

    Janna New Member

    First, I'd like to say thank you to all you guys for your positive thoughts, prayers, rattled beads and hugs. They are wonderful, and thanks, B, for even starting that thread. I love you xoxoxox (and I'm gonna MySpace message you later with more details).

    Today was really rough. We got there at 9 AM. SO and I both took the day off work today. We did the paperwork stuff first. I handed in the physical, the dental records, birth certificate, soc. sec card, etc. They gave me a paper with phone numbers, contact information for the therapist, case manager, psychiatrist, etc, and times to call. They have a brunch once a month, gave me a 12 month schedule for that (lucky ours is already this Sunday).

    We went to the psychiatrist next. I HATED that part. He was a jerk, already, I dislike him. He wanted 8 years of history in 10 minutes. Didn't want to listen. Didn't want to take the time to hear anything. Didn't want to hear about side effects. Wanted yes or no answers to everything. I was really unhappy with him. I'm going to talk to the therapist about this tomorrow. He's not changing anything for two weeks, probably. He wants to see how Dylan is, now, on the Lithium. May increase it. May wean off. Dunno. He asked, after I gave him the list of all the stuff Dylan has been on, if I had ever tried the SSRI stuff (I think that's it). I said no. Zyprexa and another one he said. He talked so fast. He gave me a huge packet of all the drugs they try and what they do LOL! Ugh.

    Did the initial IEP stuff, just basically transferred the current one over. They're going to re-test everything with him. We'll see how that goes. They are on an all year school schedule. So, he goes to school Wednesday, but they had already started August first!!!!!!!!!!

    Then we went to his house. Saw his room. Did all that. We watched the group therapy session. Dylan is all over the place. Bouncing, not paying attention, totally not himself. medications aren't working, he's in some other world, hypomanic, inattentive. I'm cringing for him.

    So, he called at 6 PM. He said he had already lost his CD player for the night, it's locked up, because he was told it was time for dinner and he didn't move fast enough. He was crying. OMG, I can't handle that. I didn't cry with him on the phone, but as soon as I hung up, I did.

    He's not in a mental state that he can pay attention or learn from these people. I understand it's strict, routine, I think the place and everything in it is awesome, but they want to watch him 2 weeks on this medicine that's not doing anything, they will see no result. He can't sit still one millisecond. He is not comprehending squat.

    It's gonna be fun.

    Thanks for all the support.
     
  2. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Aw, hon, I'm sorry. I know how hard it was leaving my daughter and she was an older teen. Your baby is so young this has got to be even more heartbreaking.

    He will settle in. The medication waiting may make it a bit harder for him but he'll get into the routine. They won't give him much choice. If this is a good Residential Treatment Center (RTC), they'll be strict but fair by their standards. Just be prepared, their standards aren't yours. They won't cut him a lot of slack.

    For my daughter's 14 months, there wasn't a time I wasn't crying my heart out on the flight home. I thought it was the right thing to do (still do, even if the results weren't quite what I was hoping for) and that was the only way I could cope. I hated every call where she told they were punishing her for something. I so wanted to step in and give them the reason why my child was behaving as she was. The one time I did it, I was firmly told why they were doing what they were doing and was not-so-kindly reminded of why she was there in the first place. I got the message.

    As for the psychiatrist, I'm hoping he's only doing the medications, not the therapy. If that's the case, then he sounds pretty typical, stinky, but typical.

    For now, hugs and a shoulder to cry on. It won't be easy but, hopefully, will give your son some tools to cope with life in the future.
     
  3. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Sounds like you did a great job coping when you had to. I can
    still relive the memory of pulling off the side of the road to
    sob for an hour after leaving my teen at his first program..I can
    only imagine how much more difficult it has to be with a younger
    child. BUT being at home did not help him progress and so long
    as he is safe in a good facility you just have to hope and pray
    that they are able to find the key to his future happiness. I
    really am sorry for your pain. Sending hugs. DDD
     
  4. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    I can only imagine how difficult this is for you. Especially the phone call. Every instinct is to grab him, hold him close and protect him. Sigh.

    Good thing psychiatrist isn't doing therapy with his lack of personality. If the program is as good as you think it is, I'm sure the psychiatrist is good, too. Just no "bedside manner". I would be more worried about psychiatrist if Dylan were outpatient, but as he will be closely monitored, psychiatrist should get all the info he needs.

    (((hugs)))
     
  5. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Oh {{janna}}, my heart was breaking for you as I read about your day. I sure hope that what the DR lacks in bedside manner he makes up for in professionalism and reading kids like Dylan. I don't know how you held it together for the phone call, wow, you're strong.

    Sounds like he will be well cared for and that he will be well evaluated. Hugs~
     
  6. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    (((((hugs)))))
     
  7. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Oh, that is so hard. I'm glad you were pretty well immersed in the experience, though, so you know exactly what sorts of things Dylan will be doing. (What you don't know is how he will be reacting.)
    So sorry you hated the psychiatrist. I agree with-Jo, that I hope that the dr makes up in experience and treatment what he lacks in bedside manner.
    ((hugs))
     
  8. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Janna,

    This transition period is going to be one of the hardest in YOUR lifetime. I had to keep reminding myself that wm or kt were in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) to learn new, less maladaptive life skills (along with medication tweaks after a time of observation).

    This is the time to be sad. This is also the time to get on the same page with the staff at Residential Treatment Center (RTC). Make sure you're all working from the same treatment plan with the same goals in mind. The last thing your difficult child needs is for one of the adult staff or mom or dad to lose sight of "the plan".

    I remember using (still do) that phrase, "the plan", ad nauseaum. "Is that on the plan, wm?" However, it did help to keep all involved on task with both the tweedles & their goals of therapeutic placement.

    Big ((((hugs)))) this morning.
     
  9. Janna

    Janna New Member

    Thank you, guys.

    Linda, when we were in the home, they kept referring to "the goal". You're right, he's there with a plan. The place is structured like crazy, 4 levels. SO and I actually discussed last night implementing the level system here for all the children, as it can't really hurt, and would only benefit Dylan upon return. Consistency is key (so they say).

    Very hard. I'm sure you must have been heartbroken with two. I can't even imagine. I thank you guys for your sweet words of comfort. I updated the GM thread.

    Janna
     
  10. jannie

    jannie trying to survive....

    Hi Janna--
    Your morning post made me sad :sad: but the first few weeks are going to be the toughest. Being away from you is going to be a major adjustment for Dylan...Hopefully he will learn better coping skills as well as improve his level of independence and self-sufficiency. Sorry the doctor seemed so yucky--but hopefully he is a skilled doctor. I do understand the need to keep all medications the same for two weeks--I'm sure they want to monitor him closely and also allow him to adjust to the new setting. His behaviors/symptoms are going to be worse as he adjusts to Residential Treatment Facility (RTF) life. I do think it's important he learns the routines before they start changing medications. The plan is 8-10 months so there will be plenty of time for medication changes.
     
  11. jannie

    jannie trying to survive....

    I was cut off from my other post...

    Did you see any of the other kids in the program? Hopefully he will connect with some peers and strengthen his social skills. In previous posts, you mentioned some really fun/therapeutic/positive activities that go on -- fingers crossed this really is a good place.

    I'm sorry to hear that last night was so hard, but today is a new day. Hopefully it will get better. I love Linda's idea about really connecting with the staff and working together keeping the "goals" in mind.

    Sending hugs--I hope today is better for both you and Dylan.
     
  12. On_Call

    On_Call New Member

    Janna,

    I am sending many hugs your way this morning. I, too, feel the pain in your words. My eyes are welling up. I thought about you several times yesterday. The fortunate thing is that the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) sounds like a good one with a great program - the horses, etc.

    I don't know how many times I have had the call from difficult child while he was in the psychiatric hospital - crying, trying to tell me what happened, the whole time beating himself up about it. Awful, I know, but Dylan will settle in - the strict routine in itself can help with them settling.

    I know that 2 weeks on these same medications seems like a long time - by the time we make the decision to have our difficult children admitted to a program, we are ready for some action - immediate changes in what we're doing so we can begin the improvements. Docs on the other hand, are more cautious and impartial (not exactly the word I want to use) when it comes to the kids. We love them - they do not. If Dylan settles right into the routine, etc. and the Dr. has a chance to see him in the setting, he may not wait 2 weeks before making a change.

    Just know there are many, many of us here in support. Take care of yourself right now.

    :angel:
     
  13. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    ((((hugs))))
     
  14. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    give it a chance. they must have had success with other kids like your son or you would not have believed in this place to begin with.

    having said that, I am weepy eyed just reading your post. it is so dang hard to give up our kids and trust someone else to help. sigh.

    hope you can keep busy with some new project at home or personally to busy your mind while your son is under construction.

    hugs.
     
  15. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    More hugs for you, Janna. It must be so hard. It was hard to move my difficult child to her biological father's house. I can not imagine having to move difficult child to a facility.

    :sad:
     
Loading...