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<blockquote data-quote="Christy" data-source="post: 152643" data-attributes="member: 225"><p>Thanks and more thanks for all of the input! There is some very helpful advice here from all of you and I appreciate the support, but I'm still having trouble with this. I guesss what I can't understand, or am too stubborn to understand, is the idea that calling the cop was the consequence and he learned from it. I called the cop so that he wouldn't be get himself hurt or lost. I called the cop because I did not have the ability to get him back to the car. I needed help. Yes, difficult child was scared the second time, and that's a big plus towards not doing it again but I still think there needs to be consequences for the choices he made.</p><p></p><p>Meowbunny, you wrote and I believe someone else wrote something similar earlier in the thread:</p><p></p><p>"It seems as if your son has learned his lesson -- at least for awhile. At this point, I'd let it go. I would discuss exactly what the consequences will be if he ever throws anything in a vehicle again and those consequences would be dire."</p><p></p><p>What will the dire consequences be? If punishment is not effective this time, why will it help in the future? Not a critisim, I am actually trying to understand.</p><p></p><p>This is what I've come up with as "logical" consequences.</p><p></p><p>1. He will not have access to anything he can throw in the van. No toys, no drinks, no books, and his shoes will ride in the front with me.</p><p></p><p>2. He made several very poor choices, because of this I will be making the choices for him until he can show me that he has better self-control. I may decide to let him outside to run off some energy in the yard. I might decided that he can work on a lego project or play a boardgame. I might be so impressed with how hard he is working on his schoolwork that I will let him watch a half hour of tv with me. We are always telling him that the right choices lead to better results. So if he handles things well, he will regain some of his ability to choose for himself.</p><p></p><p>Thanks! Christy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Christy, post: 152643, member: 225"] Thanks and more thanks for all of the input! There is some very helpful advice here from all of you and I appreciate the support, but I'm still having trouble with this. I guesss what I can't understand, or am too stubborn to understand, is the idea that calling the cop was the consequence and he learned from it. I called the cop so that he wouldn't be get himself hurt or lost. I called the cop because I did not have the ability to get him back to the car. I needed help. Yes, difficult child was scared the second time, and that's a big plus towards not doing it again but I still think there needs to be consequences for the choices he made. Meowbunny, you wrote and I believe someone else wrote something similar earlier in the thread: "It seems as if your son has learned his lesson -- at least for awhile. At this point, I'd let it go. I would discuss exactly what the consequences will be if he ever throws anything in a vehicle again and those consequences would be dire." What will the dire consequences be? If punishment is not effective this time, why will it help in the future? Not a critisim, I am actually trying to understand. This is what I've come up with as "logical" consequences. 1. He will not have access to anything he can throw in the van. No toys, no drinks, no books, and his shoes will ride in the front with me. 2. He made several very poor choices, because of this I will be making the choices for him until he can show me that he has better self-control. I may decide to let him outside to run off some energy in the yard. I might decided that he can work on a lego project or play a boardgame. I might be so impressed with how hard he is working on his schoolwork that I will let him watch a half hour of tv with me. We are always telling him that the right choices lead to better results. So if he handles things well, he will regain some of his ability to choose for himself. Thanks! Christy [/QUOTE]
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