I am not sure how I feel. One year ago, exactly, was the day I found out that H was missing. Appx 12 hours later, I knew she was dead. In my soul. I knew. I boarded that plane to OR to find her, and yet I knew. I had images of exactly how she died flashing through my mind. Two weeks later, she was found. Interestingly I do not even remember the day I found out she was officially deceased - I only remember Feb 8th. It was a full moon. My sister was gone. I have a myriad of emotions circling this weekend. I do not even know where I stand, or what I feel. Friday, I cried for 4 hours, and for the first time in 6 years I got in a fight with my counselor. Sat and Sun, I have functioned as if not one thing is wrong. Death is entirely elusive. It is always ready to catch you by the toe.......and yet.........when ready to process.........gone, inexplicably gone. None the less, I wanted to post, if nothing else other than to remember H.