Today's incident.
- Thread starter Shari
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- aggressive child
Shari
IsItFridayYet?
I think you're right, there, and that's what I'll be working for...getting them to fund some sort of alternate placement. I guess I see the confusion....any suit filed will be for what they haven't done up to now (repeatedly not following the IEP) and is not a priority at this point. Getting him somewhere else is.
As others have said, I don't think this SD is ever going to work. That said...How much training has his para received? My guess is little or none. I can easily see this same scenario happening with my difficult child and I can imagine how his para and the sp ed teacher would have responded....In our case, if difficult child opted out of an activity (as he is allowed to do) he would go to the sp ed room to either 1) Work one-on-one with his aide on class work or 2) With sp ed teacher's permission, join a group already in progress. If he joined the group and became disruptive, the reaction would depend on how disregulated he seemed. If it was low-level disruption (too antsy, talkative), his aide would then take him either to the adaptive PE room or outside for a sensory break. If he is very disregulated (on the verge of physical or disrespectful), the sp ed teacher would turn the group over to difficult child's aide (who is well-trained and can handle that) and then take difficult child outside to help him calm down.
At no time would difficult child be left with one adult who is also in charge of other students. Have these people not heard of cell phones??? difficult child's para can call the sp ed teacher at any time on her cell phone. She NEVER leaves difficult child if he is starting to escalate.
My reading of the situation is that the para did not know what to do. She should have intervened and removed him from the sp ed room as soon as he started to disrupt the group.
Good luck.
At no time would difficult child be left with one adult who is also in charge of other students. Have these people not heard of cell phones??? difficult child's para can call the sp ed teacher at any time on her cell phone. She NEVER leaves difficult child if he is starting to escalate.
My reading of the situation is that the para did not know what to do. She should have intervened and removed him from the sp ed room as soon as he started to disrupt the group.
Good luck.
Shari
IsItFridayYet?
Tictoc, your description is very much like what they are supposed to do with Wee. VERY much.
And I'm now wondering, what happened between the time the para left the room and came back...when she came back, he was together, and is adamant that SpEd Sub said the boys could play cards as a group while she pulled them out one at a time for reading...and he doesn't make stuff up. Misunderstand, yes, but make up? No. Did SpEd Sub calm him and offer to let him play cards and para walked in and changed the whole plan??? I am trying to get ahold of SpEd Sub.
And I'm now wondering, what happened between the time the para left the room and came back...when she came back, he was together, and is adamant that SpEd Sub said the boys could play cards as a group while she pulled them out one at a time for reading...and he doesn't make stuff up. Misunderstand, yes, but make up? No. Did SpEd Sub calm him and offer to let him play cards and para walked in and changed the whole plan??? I am trying to get ahold of SpEd Sub.
DammitJanet
Well-Known Member
Shari, there is somewhere on your state's website that lists all the special education schools. Private, public, residential, day. You just have to find that list. It may be under the education portion or you may find it under the mental health section. Or both. I would look everywhere. Start calling phosps if you have to and ask them if any of them know any private schools for elementary ed for mentally ill and learning disabled kidlets. Even day treatment centers. By now, one of those may be a good fit for him to start out in to help ease him back into a normal alternative school because of how traumatized he has been by this school.
Ya know, thinking about things, one thing to consider is that you could (and this is just a thrown out there option) move out to where difficult child 1 lives and move in with them to get wee into a school on base. They actually are normally pretty good.
Ya know, thinking about things, one thing to consider is that you could (and this is just a thrown out there option) move out to where difficult child 1 lives and move in with them to get wee into a school on base. They actually are normally pretty good.
I am so sorry that they are being so stupid about this. All the "interventions" and things that we are saying should have been used with Wee in this situation seem like plain old common sense in many ways. I can remember my mother doing some similar things with us when the neighborhood kids were all playing at our house and someone was causing a problem. They truly are things tha ANYONE who deals with sp ed kids should be able to do. It just takes some extra time and patience and thought.
One thing was said that may be forgotten in the conversation about the SD and the repport of "assault" (truly a stupid action coming from a stupid person or group of people. This child is 8, for crying out loud. How hard is it to expect that he will kick when you try to restrain him when he is upset? I am willing to bet all the money I don't have that if the para or sub sped teacher was upset about something and some other people tried to restrain them that they would kick their legs too!!!!
The maybe forgotten thing is that the superintendent said that the alternative school has said that they don't have room. FIRST thing Monday morning you MUST call the alternative school and speak to the person in charge (principal or whoever is over his head, but start with principal). Ask them if they have room, and if your SD has tried to get a placement for Wee there. I do NOT believe that they have tried to find a place for him there. I just don't. Not with all the various ways they have mistreated both you and Wee and then tried to convince you that it is Wee's fault. If it is possible, get it in writing that there is a spot for Wee and the SD needs to do X, Y and Z to get him enrolled. Then go to the Superintendent of the SD and tell him how wonderful it is that you have been able to get a spot for Wee at that school, and you would appreciate it if they would process this ASAP. If he balks, chokes on his tongue because you caught him in a lie, etc..., go to the school's attorney and get him to tell them to do it ASAP because otherwise you are filing for due process and if necessary filing a lawsuit because they are refusing to provide FAPE in ANY environment.
Just be sure to follow through if you don't get the actions you ask for!
One thing was said that may be forgotten in the conversation about the SD and the repport of "assault" (truly a stupid action coming from a stupid person or group of people. This child is 8, for crying out loud. How hard is it to expect that he will kick when you try to restrain him when he is upset? I am willing to bet all the money I don't have that if the para or sub sped teacher was upset about something and some other people tried to restrain them that they would kick their legs too!!!!
The maybe forgotten thing is that the superintendent said that the alternative school has said that they don't have room. FIRST thing Monday morning you MUST call the alternative school and speak to the person in charge (principal or whoever is over his head, but start with principal). Ask them if they have room, and if your SD has tried to get a placement for Wee there. I do NOT believe that they have tried to find a place for him there. I just don't. Not with all the various ways they have mistreated both you and Wee and then tried to convince you that it is Wee's fault. If it is possible, get it in writing that there is a spot for Wee and the SD needs to do X, Y and Z to get him enrolled. Then go to the Superintendent of the SD and tell him how wonderful it is that you have been able to get a spot for Wee at that school, and you would appreciate it if they would process this ASAP. If he balks, chokes on his tongue because you caught him in a lie, etc..., go to the school's attorney and get him to tell them to do it ASAP because otherwise you are filing for due process and if necessary filing a lawsuit because they are refusing to provide FAPE in ANY environment.
Just be sure to follow through if you don't get the actions you ask for!
Marguerite
Active Member
That's a good point, Susie.
With difficult child 1, he was beginning Grade 12 (final year of our high school - equivalent to college in the US) and we had a learning team meeting at which I asked if her wouldn't perhaps be better off in Distance Ed. They told me (in the first weeks of the school year) that it was too late in the school year to transfer difficult child 1. Present at that meeting and assuring me of this, were the school counsellor and several teachers. I think also present was a district office Dept of Ed officer. They ALL should have known what I discovered later - Distance Ed takes transfers at any time of the year. Their real reason for telling me otherwise, was because the school was getting support funding for difficult child 1 and the transfer would have meant they would have had to hand back the money when they had already 'spent' it.
I finally rang Distance Ed four months later to ask why they would not accept the transfer - they told me I was crazy, of course they would accept difficult child 1. The school meanwhile had been telling me that anyway, difficult child 1 was ineligible for Distance Ed. They were telling me anything they could, to keep difficult child 1 there at the school. I had been believing them when really, I should have been making my own enquiries. Also, Shari, in Wee's case - if the special school IS full, then surely they have a waiting list? Wee should be on that waiting list and I would bet you, he is not.
Ring the special school. Tell your story, explain that you have to make your own enquiries because you are dealing with a school whose own legal advocate is on your side. You cannot trust them to handle Wee properly, so you also cannot trust them to have picked up the phone to call thre special school.
Wee's school clearly beleives that all tyhat is needed, is Wee needs to be taught howe to behave. That is all that is needed, because in their opinion, Wee has a mother who enables him and tals about disability (an excuse) and won't teach her son the right way to act at school. IN THEIR OPINION.
So if they clearly are getting it so wrong and prejudging the situation, it is not likely that they would have actually done the things they have told YOU they would do/have done.
If at a later stage the school gets angry with you for calling the special school to ask these questions, simply smile sweetly and say that you realise they would have been far too busy to make the calls themselves, what with all the rules and regulations they need to read up on, in order to best meet Wee's needs according to the law. And you may even be able to add that were proved right, because the special school had never heard of Wee but now they have; you will have saved Wee's school the time and effort in putting Wee's name down.
I agree with you about keeping Wee out. If the school tries to sool the authorities onto you, threaten to do the same in return for their failure to comply with the law. Not just their discrimination, but their breaches of the law. So if you are in trouble with the law, then so are they. IF you get the knock on the door with someone saying, "Why is your son not in school?" invite them in and explain. Maybe even give them the phone number of the school's legal advisor. THAT should make them sit up and take notice!
If you are choosing to keep Wee home, be aware that he is still officially enrolled at this school. Send them a letter advising of your intentions to keep Wee home until this can be resolved. Part of resolving this, is referring Wee to a more appropriate placement. You have done everything you could to support this school in their management of Wee according to the law and according to human rights. The school has not been able to comply (don't accuse here - this is merely an obvious statement of fact). So because it appears that Wee's needs cannot be met in this current school environment, it is best for Wee for him to be informally home schooled (dear school, please provide work sheets for him to complete at home, we will send them in for marking) until some assurance can be given that Wee will not be inappropriately handled or until Wee can be transferred to the special school which appears now to be a more valid placement.
The school and you both have a legal responsibility to ensure Wee is being educated. While Wee is enrolled, they have to have this covered. Don't make yourself te only target - make it clear that if YOU are in the education department's sights, so are they. I would even suggest pre-empting someone dobbing you in for failing to send Wee, by actually dobbing yourself in and asking for advice on what your options are for Wee's sake. Do this before you are in breach of any laws.
Take the initiative. The school doesn't sound good at this, so someone else doing tis will scare the pants off them and could scare them into compliance. Or at least scare them into supporting the transfer to the special school.
Marg
With difficult child 1, he was beginning Grade 12 (final year of our high school - equivalent to college in the US) and we had a learning team meeting at which I asked if her wouldn't perhaps be better off in Distance Ed. They told me (in the first weeks of the school year) that it was too late in the school year to transfer difficult child 1. Present at that meeting and assuring me of this, were the school counsellor and several teachers. I think also present was a district office Dept of Ed officer. They ALL should have known what I discovered later - Distance Ed takes transfers at any time of the year. Their real reason for telling me otherwise, was because the school was getting support funding for difficult child 1 and the transfer would have meant they would have had to hand back the money when they had already 'spent' it.
I finally rang Distance Ed four months later to ask why they would not accept the transfer - they told me I was crazy, of course they would accept difficult child 1. The school meanwhile had been telling me that anyway, difficult child 1 was ineligible for Distance Ed. They were telling me anything they could, to keep difficult child 1 there at the school. I had been believing them when really, I should have been making my own enquiries. Also, Shari, in Wee's case - if the special school IS full, then surely they have a waiting list? Wee should be on that waiting list and I would bet you, he is not.
Ring the special school. Tell your story, explain that you have to make your own enquiries because you are dealing with a school whose own legal advocate is on your side. You cannot trust them to handle Wee properly, so you also cannot trust them to have picked up the phone to call thre special school.
Wee's school clearly beleives that all tyhat is needed, is Wee needs to be taught howe to behave. That is all that is needed, because in their opinion, Wee has a mother who enables him and tals about disability (an excuse) and won't teach her son the right way to act at school. IN THEIR OPINION.
So if they clearly are getting it so wrong and prejudging the situation, it is not likely that they would have actually done the things they have told YOU they would do/have done.
If at a later stage the school gets angry with you for calling the special school to ask these questions, simply smile sweetly and say that you realise they would have been far too busy to make the calls themselves, what with all the rules and regulations they need to read up on, in order to best meet Wee's needs according to the law. And you may even be able to add that were proved right, because the special school had never heard of Wee but now they have; you will have saved Wee's school the time and effort in putting Wee's name down.
I agree with you about keeping Wee out. If the school tries to sool the authorities onto you, threaten to do the same in return for their failure to comply with the law. Not just their discrimination, but their breaches of the law. So if you are in trouble with the law, then so are they. IF you get the knock on the door with someone saying, "Why is your son not in school?" invite them in and explain. Maybe even give them the phone number of the school's legal advisor. THAT should make them sit up and take notice!
If you are choosing to keep Wee home, be aware that he is still officially enrolled at this school. Send them a letter advising of your intentions to keep Wee home until this can be resolved. Part of resolving this, is referring Wee to a more appropriate placement. You have done everything you could to support this school in their management of Wee according to the law and according to human rights. The school has not been able to comply (don't accuse here - this is merely an obvious statement of fact). So because it appears that Wee's needs cannot be met in this current school environment, it is best for Wee for him to be informally home schooled (dear school, please provide work sheets for him to complete at home, we will send them in for marking) until some assurance can be given that Wee will not be inappropriately handled or until Wee can be transferred to the special school which appears now to be a more valid placement.
The school and you both have a legal responsibility to ensure Wee is being educated. While Wee is enrolled, they have to have this covered. Don't make yourself te only target - make it clear that if YOU are in the education department's sights, so are they. I would even suggest pre-empting someone dobbing you in for failing to send Wee, by actually dobbing yourself in and asking for advice on what your options are for Wee's sake. Do this before you are in breach of any laws.
Take the initiative. The school doesn't sound good at this, so someone else doing tis will scare the pants off them and could scare them into compliance. Or at least scare them into supporting the transfer to the special school.
Marg
