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General Parenting
Today's visit with- difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="graceupongrace" data-source="post: 278403" data-attributes="member: 7371"><p>klmno,</p><p></p><p>I'm new here so I don't know all the history. But that bit of self-awareness that he showed (as opposed to self-absorption, which is a typical teen characteristic that seems to double in difficult children) is a good start. The challenge will be for him to stop blaming you -- to take responsibility for his actions vs. "you raised me that way." As a receptacle for all blame for the bad but no credit for the good, I can empathize with you -- LOL.</p><p></p><p><span style="color: Blue"><em>But, you can't quit doing homework, stay home from school because you emotionally shut down, get in trouble legally and expect to excel in school. (Couldn't he figure this out?)</em></span></p><p><span style="color: Blue"><em></em></span></p><p><span style="color: Blue"><em>Why can't he figure out that he can do well in life and concentrate on constructive things and make friends that way? </em></span></p><p></p><p>I think difficult children understand these things objectively, but have difficulty applying them in their own lives. I often wonder, "Doesn't difficult child get that his life is easier when he is respectful and cooperative? Doesn't he get that he can get straight A's if he would just do the assignments?" Sadly, they just <em>don't</em> get it sometimes. </p><p></p><p>Teaching the other kids how to swim is great! Helping others will help him feel valued, and get him out of that mode of thinking, <span style="color: Blue"><em>"I will never be able to do anything."</em></span></p><p></p><p>Seeing that you have hope for him will help him become more hopeful too, even if not immediately. It's a long, hard road, isn't it?</p><p></p><p>Hugs to you!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="graceupongrace, post: 278403, member: 7371"] klmno, I'm new here so I don't know all the history. But that bit of self-awareness that he showed (as opposed to self-absorption, which is a typical teen characteristic that seems to double in difficult children) is a good start. The challenge will be for him to stop blaming you -- to take responsibility for his actions vs. "you raised me that way." As a receptacle for all blame for the bad but no credit for the good, I can empathize with you -- LOL. [COLOR=Blue][I]But, you can't quit doing homework, stay home from school because you emotionally shut down, get in trouble legally and expect to excel in school. (Couldn't he figure this out?) Why can't he figure out that he can do well in life and concentrate on constructive things and make friends that way? [/I][/COLOR] I think difficult children understand these things objectively, but have difficulty applying them in their own lives. I often wonder, "Doesn't difficult child get that his life is easier when he is respectful and cooperative? Doesn't he get that he can get straight A's if he would just do the assignments?" Sadly, they just [I]don't[/I] get it sometimes. Teaching the other kids how to swim is great! Helping others will help him feel valued, and get him out of that mode of thinking, [COLOR=Blue][I]"I will never be able to do anything."[/I][/COLOR] Seeing that you have hope for him will help him become more hopeful too, even if not immediately. It's a long, hard road, isn't it? Hugs to you! [/QUOTE]
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