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<blockquote data-quote="HowMuchLonger" data-source="post: 411580" data-attributes="member: 11280"><p>pepperidge, we too were unsure as to whether or not to implement it. husband and I have spent most of the day trying to come up with different token earners and rewards for those tokens and it's been difficult. Our difficult child is definitely a black and white thinker so we are trying to be careful to make the earners VERY clear with no room for arguement. ie Brush teeth, dressed for school by 8:30, 20 mins reading at night, 15 mins homework every night. Then the questions arose..well what if he wets the toothbrush, swishes it over this teeth 3 times and says "ok done where's my token", or sits at the table WITH homework but doesn't actually do it for the 15 mins so it's incredibly frustrating. </p><p></p><p>I'm wondering too if it's just setting us and him up for failure...but we're desperate and I just want SOME peace...hell at this point if the kid does do the 3 swishes with a wet toothbrush it's better than what we've been getting from him so far and our dental bill is climbing!! I am going to find a copy of The Explosive child and read the heck out of it again. It's been about 5 years since I last held a copy in my hands and at the time we were reading it for difficult child 2 and a lot of it didn't apply to him so I didn't take much from it. We are waiting on the pediatrician's office to open tomorrow to get in there and discuss medication options.</p><p></p><p>daisy, my thoughts too...glorified sticker chart. I was hoping the difference here would be that physical "I have these 10 tokens in my hand", than seeing a paper with some stickers on it...I just don't know. I know they used a similar system at the school program he attended and he did seem to "buy into it"...but of course, he buys in when he wants to. For example once he's earned the 20 tokens needed for the yo-yo he wanted by Wed. afternoon...the rest of the week was "screw you i don't need/want your stupid tokens." Only to begin again the next week. I think the categories think makes some sense. At this point we were going to implement very few token earners... and those are the triggers we KNOW for a fact are triggers (sometimes he goes off for no apparent reason). So far we have 9 on there that are reeeally difficult moments in our day. We decided to leave off the grayer "don't fight with brothers" for now until we get the easy ones under control and going smoothly. </p><p></p><p> I don't think the token system will dispell the rages, as the rages are clearly NOT coming from "please brush your teeth"...but jsut make daily life a bit easier so when the rages may or may not happen we're not ready to strangle him and have a bit more patience and grace with him. Also, in conjunction with the token system i'm writing up a DOs and DONTs chart he can refer to.. basically all the things we tell him over and over that he seems to forget in the heat of the moment. I know in the midst of a rage he's not going to walk to the list and say "oops can't do that" and stop..but perhaps just seeing it with his eyes every day when he is in a cooperative mood might trigger something. Also something he said in the ER stuck with me that he gets ticked with husband and I always repeating ourselves....so hopefully the list will allow us to cut down on the repetition? crossing fingers at least something works</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="HowMuchLonger, post: 411580, member: 11280"] pepperidge, we too were unsure as to whether or not to implement it. husband and I have spent most of the day trying to come up with different token earners and rewards for those tokens and it's been difficult. Our difficult child is definitely a black and white thinker so we are trying to be careful to make the earners VERY clear with no room for arguement. ie Brush teeth, dressed for school by 8:30, 20 mins reading at night, 15 mins homework every night. Then the questions arose..well what if he wets the toothbrush, swishes it over this teeth 3 times and says "ok done where's my token", or sits at the table WITH homework but doesn't actually do it for the 15 mins so it's incredibly frustrating. I'm wondering too if it's just setting us and him up for failure...but we're desperate and I just want SOME peace...hell at this point if the kid does do the 3 swishes with a wet toothbrush it's better than what we've been getting from him so far and our dental bill is climbing!! I am going to find a copy of The Explosive child and read the heck out of it again. It's been about 5 years since I last held a copy in my hands and at the time we were reading it for difficult child 2 and a lot of it didn't apply to him so I didn't take much from it. We are waiting on the pediatrician's office to open tomorrow to get in there and discuss medication options. daisy, my thoughts too...glorified sticker chart. I was hoping the difference here would be that physical "I have these 10 tokens in my hand", than seeing a paper with some stickers on it...I just don't know. I know they used a similar system at the school program he attended and he did seem to "buy into it"...but of course, he buys in when he wants to. For example once he's earned the 20 tokens needed for the yo-yo he wanted by Wed. afternoon...the rest of the week was "screw you i don't need/want your stupid tokens." Only to begin again the next week. I think the categories think makes some sense. At this point we were going to implement very few token earners... and those are the triggers we KNOW for a fact are triggers (sometimes he goes off for no apparent reason). So far we have 9 on there that are reeeally difficult moments in our day. We decided to leave off the grayer "don't fight with brothers" for now until we get the easy ones under control and going smoothly. I don't think the token system will dispell the rages, as the rages are clearly NOT coming from "please brush your teeth"...but jsut make daily life a bit easier so when the rages may or may not happen we're not ready to strangle him and have a bit more patience and grace with him. Also, in conjunction with the token system i'm writing up a DOs and DONTs chart he can refer to.. basically all the things we tell him over and over that he seems to forget in the heat of the moment. I know in the midst of a rage he's not going to walk to the list and say "oops can't do that" and stop..but perhaps just seeing it with his eyes every day when he is in a cooperative mood might trigger something. Also something he said in the ER stuck with me that he gets ticked with husband and I always repeating ourselves....so hopefully the list will allow us to cut down on the repetition? crossing fingers at least something works [/QUOTE]
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