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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 411587"><p>OK It will depend a lot on the kid but I have to say we did this with my son when he was about 5. It changed our lives for a time.... looking back I wish we could have done it forever! So let me say how we did it and why I think it worked. We called it our penny system. It worked better than a sticker chart because it was immediate and there were rewards he wanted that meant something to him. So I wore pants every day with two pockets. One was my pennies and one was his. Every time he did stuff well I put a penny in his pennies. If he misbehaved he would lose a penny. And a certain number of pennies earned certain rewards. The rewards were things he had been getting already for the most part... so he had to earn TV time, he had to earn sweets.... a lot of pennies would earn me buying him something but that did not happen very often. The important thing is to come up with things that he wants and is important to him. When we started I rewarded him very liberally for almost anything good that he did..... and would take pennies away only when necessary. It worked magically with my son. I think a lot would depend on the kid but for us it helped keep me consistent, and it helped me keep my cool. If he misbehaved I calmly took a penny. Both my husband and I did this as did our babysitter and the preschool. We started it because we were desperate to do something. I didn't worry about the philosphies of weather it is a good idea or not, I needed something to help get his behavior in line. It created a structure, clear rules and clear consequences and my son responded really really well to that. It was helpful for me who is not naturally a very structured type person. It really was a huge help at the time and it turned things around in our house until he become a teen and then things fell apart.....which was a whole other set of issues.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 411587"] OK It will depend a lot on the kid but I have to say we did this with my son when he was about 5. It changed our lives for a time.... looking back I wish we could have done it forever! So let me say how we did it and why I think it worked. We called it our penny system. It worked better than a sticker chart because it was immediate and there were rewards he wanted that meant something to him. So I wore pants every day with two pockets. One was my pennies and one was his. Every time he did stuff well I put a penny in his pennies. If he misbehaved he would lose a penny. And a certain number of pennies earned certain rewards. The rewards were things he had been getting already for the most part... so he had to earn TV time, he had to earn sweets.... a lot of pennies would earn me buying him something but that did not happen very often. The important thing is to come up with things that he wants and is important to him. When we started I rewarded him very liberally for almost anything good that he did..... and would take pennies away only when necessary. It worked magically with my son. I think a lot would depend on the kid but for us it helped keep me consistent, and it helped me keep my cool. If he misbehaved I calmly took a penny. Both my husband and I did this as did our babysitter and the preschool. We started it because we were desperate to do something. I didn't worry about the philosphies of weather it is a good idea or not, I needed something to help get his behavior in line. It created a structure, clear rules and clear consequences and my son responded really really well to that. It was helpful for me who is not naturally a very structured type person. It really was a huge help at the time and it turned things around in our house until he become a teen and then things fell apart.....which was a whole other set of issues. [/QUOTE]
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