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Parent Emeritus
Tomorrow my son turns 21
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<blockquote data-quote="TheWalrus" data-source="post: 684003" data-attributes="member: 19905"><p>I bought my daughter two cars. A laptop. Several phones. Expensive clothes. Vacations. They meant nothing. </p><p></p><p>Cars? Totaled. Laptop? Gone. Phones? Gone. Clothes? Gone. It seems even the memories of those vacations and holidays and times together are also gone. </p><p></p><p>Did I give her too much? Certainly. She became very entitled. Still is. But we made her work, keep up her grades, and do her part at home. That straight A college scholarship? Gone. </p><p></p><p>I understand how you feel. We want our kids to have more than we had, not have it as rough, be there for them. But for some kids that becomes twisted and then they feel they are "owed" and as a parent, you not only have to be there but do it all. </p><p></p><p>SWOT is right - you are already giving much more than you should have to. I have a hard time not projecting my thoughts and feelings onto my daughter, not expecting her to react and behave the way I do. That is the person I can change - myself. Because she isn't me and I can't be to her what my parents were to me.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TheWalrus, post: 684003, member: 19905"] I bought my daughter two cars. A laptop. Several phones. Expensive clothes. Vacations. They meant nothing. Cars? Totaled. Laptop? Gone. Phones? Gone. Clothes? Gone. It seems even the memories of those vacations and holidays and times together are also gone. Did I give her too much? Certainly. She became very entitled. Still is. But we made her work, keep up her grades, and do her part at home. That straight A college scholarship? Gone. I understand how you feel. We want our kids to have more than we had, not have it as rough, be there for them. But for some kids that becomes twisted and then they feel they are "owed" and as a parent, you not only have to be there but do it all. SWOT is right - you are already giving much more than you should have to. I have a hard time not projecting my thoughts and feelings onto my daughter, not expecting her to react and behave the way I do. That is the person I can change - myself. Because she isn't me and I can't be to her what my parents were to me. [/QUOTE]
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Tomorrow my son turns 21
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