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Tonight was the night
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<blockquote data-quote="flutterbee" data-source="post: 114072"><p>Oh, I know it's not my relationship. I've had to do a lot of damage control over the years. For instance, when easy child was 10 he called very upset because his dad and step-mom were talking bad about me to him. I told him that he and I knew the truth and it really didn't matter what anyone else thought. I've always been very careful not to point fingers and come out and say, you're dad is an A1 $%^ for saying that to you. His dad was doing enough of that kind of stuff. He didn't need it from me, too.</p><p></p><p>I'm choosing my words carefully. I don't want him to be angry on my behalf. I don't want him to feel like he has to jump to my defense, Know what I mean?? Like when he was about 6 and we were doing the kid exchange at the end of easy child's visit with his dad. One of the boxes we transferred was a box for roller blades and I asked him if he had gotten those for his birthday. He said he had, but that what was in the box was other stuff; that his dad hadn't let him bring them home cause he said they would get lost. I just said ok. easy child went on and said that he told his dad they wouldn't, would they mommy? I said, no, they wouldn't. easy child's dad said, 'she's lying to you, buddy.' easy child turned and yelled at his dad, 'NO SHE'S NOT!' easy child's dad's eyes got huge. </p><p></p><p>A child should never have to feel like he needs to come to the defense of his parents like that.</p><p></p><p>I also don't want him to feel less than because of the treatment he receives from his dad. So, I'm walking this line of helping him come to terms with who his dad is without disparaging his father. If that makes any sense. When what I'm thinking is that your dad is such a jerk for treating you like that, but instead I say that it's unfortunate that your dad focuses on the trivial things and isn't able to see you for who you really are. I don't want him to not want to come to me with this stuff so I weigh my words carefully.</p><p></p><p>I'm rambling and probably not making much sense. I'm so beyond tired. I was ready for bed when he came to me with this stuff and now I can't sleep.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flutterbee, post: 114072"] Oh, I know it's not my relationship. I've had to do a lot of damage control over the years. For instance, when easy child was 10 he called very upset because his dad and step-mom were talking bad about me to him. I told him that he and I knew the truth and it really didn't matter what anyone else thought. I've always been very careful not to point fingers and come out and say, you're dad is an A1 $%^ for saying that to you. His dad was doing enough of that kind of stuff. He didn't need it from me, too. I'm choosing my words carefully. I don't want him to be angry on my behalf. I don't want him to feel like he has to jump to my defense, Know what I mean?? Like when he was about 6 and we were doing the kid exchange at the end of easy child's visit with his dad. One of the boxes we transferred was a box for roller blades and I asked him if he had gotten those for his birthday. He said he had, but that what was in the box was other stuff; that his dad hadn't let him bring them home cause he said they would get lost. I just said ok. easy child went on and said that he told his dad they wouldn't, would they mommy? I said, no, they wouldn't. easy child's dad said, 'she's lying to you, buddy.' easy child turned and yelled at his dad, 'NO SHE'S NOT!' easy child's dad's eyes got huge. A child should never have to feel like he needs to come to the defense of his parents like that. I also don't want him to feel less than because of the treatment he receives from his dad. So, I'm walking this line of helping him come to terms with who his dad is without disparaging his father. If that makes any sense. When what I'm thinking is that your dad is such a jerk for treating you like that, but instead I say that it's unfortunate that your dad focuses on the trivial things and isn't able to see you for who you really are. I don't want him to not want to come to me with this stuff so I weigh my words carefully. I'm rambling and probably not making much sense. I'm so beyond tired. I was ready for bed when he came to me with this stuff and now I can't sleep. [/QUOTE]
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