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Substance Abuse
Too early to start feeling hopeless?
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<blockquote data-quote="Signorina" data-source="post: 612059"><p>You will never be hopeless. Mom's always have hope...</p><p></p><p>I suspect what you are feeling is a bit of self protection. You are hoping for the best but at the same time you are steeling yourself for the reality. That's ok. It's an awful feeling - an innocence lost - and it is so foreign to us moms. We had hopes and dreams for our children from the very moment we began to anticipate their arrival. It's a hard pill to swallow when we realize that so many of our hopes for them are not even in the ballpark anymore. He isn't going to change in a big dramatic way. It's likely he will take a 1/2 step back for every step forward. Even when we wash our hands of them; we never give up. We just meet reality and we realize that WE have to be grounded in reality -- even more so because they are not operating rationally or in their own best interests.</p><p></p><p>Try not to look too far ahead. Try not to catastrophize ahead...I know it's impossible not to. I remember feeling like I had to be ready for every single possibility so I could react "the right way" in return. For what it's worth - I never guessed right. The highs and lows, the twists and turns always caught me by surprise and were unanticipated; there is no map.</p><p></p><p>I hate to say you will get used to it - but you will. I call myself hopeful but jaded. And I am truly both. He has 50 days of sober thinking under his belt. He is learning the tools - even if he doesn't chose to use them just yet -- he IS learning them. </p><p></p><p>I feel for you. I wish I had a crystal ball. On the other hand - I am so glad I don't know what I don't know. LOL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Signorina, post: 612059"] You will never be hopeless. Mom's always have hope... I suspect what you are feeling is a bit of self protection. You are hoping for the best but at the same time you are steeling yourself for the reality. That's ok. It's an awful feeling - an innocence lost - and it is so foreign to us moms. We had hopes and dreams for our children from the very moment we began to anticipate their arrival. It's a hard pill to swallow when we realize that so many of our hopes for them are not even in the ballpark anymore. He isn't going to change in a big dramatic way. It's likely he will take a 1/2 step back for every step forward. Even when we wash our hands of them; we never give up. We just meet reality and we realize that WE have to be grounded in reality -- even more so because they are not operating rationally or in their own best interests. Try not to look too far ahead. Try not to catastrophize ahead...I know it's impossible not to. I remember feeling like I had to be ready for every single possibility so I could react "the right way" in return. For what it's worth - I never guessed right. The highs and lows, the twists and turns always caught me by surprise and were unanticipated; there is no map. I hate to say you will get used to it - but you will. I call myself hopeful but jaded. And I am truly both. He has 50 days of sober thinking under his belt. He is learning the tools - even if he doesn't chose to use them just yet -- he IS learning them. I feel for you. I wish I had a crystal ball. On the other hand - I am so glad I don't know what I don't know. LOL [/QUOTE]
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