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Substance Abuse
Too early to start feeling hopeless?
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<blockquote data-quote="Kathy813" data-source="post: 612155" data-attributes="member: 1967"><p>Hi comaheart. Did the plans fall through for the special school? I haven't been on the board much so I might have missed that.</p><p></p><p>I was very much where you are when my difficult child was in residential treatment. When we went for our family weekend the counselors talked about surrender and a former client came back and said he finally started on the road to recovery when he realized his way wasn't working and that he was willing to surrender and follow the AA steps and see if that worked. My difficult child was still very much in the rule breaker stage and it was very obvious she was still trying to work the system. I was very discouraged.</p><p></p><p>As time went on, she seemed to get it although there are still times that I get upset because she still seems to look for ways to get around things. She definitely still has a different moral code than I have. For example, she recently told me that she was going to the store to buy a fan and use it until the air conditioning got fixed where she was living and then she was taking the fan back. I don't think that is right but she sees nothing wrong with it.</p><p></p><p>I think that you just need to let the process work and hope for the best. It is very common for people to relapse several times until they finally get sober. I know that is discouraging to hear but each time they are learning and moving forward. The things your son is hearing may not take the first time but at least he has learned what he needs to do to be in recovery.</p><p></p><p>I don't think you should let him come back to your home or his former school . . . especially if you do not think he intends to stay sober.</p><p></p><p>~Kathy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kathy813, post: 612155, member: 1967"] Hi comaheart. Did the plans fall through for the special school? I haven't been on the board much so I might have missed that. I was very much where you are when my difficult child was in residential treatment. When we went for our family weekend the counselors talked about surrender and a former client came back and said he finally started on the road to recovery when he realized his way wasn't working and that he was willing to surrender and follow the AA steps and see if that worked. My difficult child was still very much in the rule breaker stage and it was very obvious she was still trying to work the system. I was very discouraged. As time went on, she seemed to get it although there are still times that I get upset because she still seems to look for ways to get around things. She definitely still has a different moral code than I have. For example, she recently told me that she was going to the store to buy a fan and use it until the air conditioning got fixed where she was living and then she was taking the fan back. I don't think that is right but she sees nothing wrong with it. I think that you just need to let the process work and hope for the best. It is very common for people to relapse several times until they finally get sober. I know that is discouraging to hear but each time they are learning and moving forward. The things your son is hearing may not take the first time but at least he has learned what he needs to do to be in recovery. I don't think you should let him come back to your home or his former school . . . especially if you do not think he intends to stay sober. ~Kathy [/QUOTE]
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