My difficult child is still with gma... No idea when that'll change. No idea as to how I'm gonna transition her and everyone else when it's time. My younger daughter asks that she never come home...begs actually. My DS doesn't want her back and my youngest is still replying to the mere mention of her name with "...bad...slap" This is so taxing. We have therapy tomorrow and she starts school on Wednesday. Part of me says bring her home but then I would have to basically strap her to me and then where does that leave the other 3 and me with the baby on the way. My mom is willing to keep her for as long as needed but I'm having a baby in 2 months and it kills me not to have her home for that. I just don't know how. I know that's what the therapist is for but I just feel like I'm so pressed for time. In the mean time difficult child has very little restriction and structure. It's just her and my parents all the time and she's pretty much free as a bird. How will she learn to be part of this family if she's not dealing with it. As it stands she's very flip about the whole thing and makes no acknowledgment of any wrong doing. I'm afraid that she will be able to manipulate the therapist as well and it's easy to be by her. Plus it's easy to be impartial when your not the one who has to struggle with the feelings of the siblings she's hurt. They are genuinely afraid of her...I just feel so lost and helpless. I feel like a terrible mother for sending her away and then for the ease that seems to have settled over the house since she's been gone. When does the guilt end??