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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 252017" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>Thank you!</p><p> </p><p>I think the being mean may be worse because as Loth stated, it seems to be caused by anxiety. They are still being afraid but then also adds the striking out.</p><p> </p><p>I have been lucky in that I have been able for the most part to get my difficult child to see that it is anxiety. He understands that because of what he went through with it last year. A very deep undiagnosed anxiety which resulted in a psychiatric hospital stay which lead to coping tools that he himself was willing to implement.</p><p> </p><p>When he is bored, he has recognized his anxiety and knows to start his breathing exercises. He doesn't get overly tired very often like this past week (and once about 1 -2 months ago) so that is when he starts getting really fearful that he is dying. Every time he came to me last night, I pretty much pointed him to his bedroom, "You need rest. Go to bed early. I am positive you will feel better in the morning." I stick to my suggestion - I have learned that changing suggestions before the first one is tried is disaterous because he will push and push and push until I find a suggestion he likes. So, it is, "No, you do this first before we find another answer."</p><p> </p><p>Kjs - we have a psychiatrist who did exactly what difficult child needed him to do. He told difficult child that his anxiety was causing everything AND he allowed us to have the breathing, x-rays, EKG, lab work needed to prove there was nothing going on. The problem now is that was a year ago and difficult child last night asked if things could change in a year. I lied to him - I told him "No"</p><p> </p><p>I don't think difficult child would have conquered this without the psychiatric hospital. He couldn't handle it anymore so we went to the psychiatric hospital in person to ask for the evaluation. difficult child was so noticably upset when we walked through that door (he even threw up in the reception area) that they took us for the evaluation right away.</p><p> </p><p>So, maybe if you tried what we did - when your difficult child is in the midst of an intense episode of anxiety, walk him into the reception area of the nearest child's psychiatric hospital and ask for help (and hope he vomits!), "Can we get an evaluation? My son is very sick and we don't know what to do anymore. Can you offer any suggestions? Can you evaluation him to see if he meets criteria for your services?"</p><p> </p><p>The psychiatric hospital we went to happens to advertise about depression. They end their advertising with, "If you don't get help from us, please get help from somewhere!"</p><p> </p><p>It is a long road out of the deepest anxiety. The longer your difficult child digs himself in, the longer it will take to get out. He has to recognize this as anxiety being a bully and he has to fight back. He has to know that he can make this stop, he does have the power. </p><p> </p><p>Your difficult child's fears are so deep right now that I am not sure where you can start. I would recommend you looking into a stress eraser if you don't have one (<a href="http://www.stresseraser.com" target="_blank">www.stresseraser.com</a>). If you can get him to use it on a daily basis it may help? My difficult child was allowed to use it at school when he felt a need for it.</p><p> </p><p>Also, contact a psychiatric hospital on your own to get info.</p><p> </p><p>My difficult child was on Flouxetine which was just right for him but I have picked up that it is not right for all kids. He also had a very low dose of Clonazepam which took the edge off of his fears but also contributed toward his inhibitiveness - he started talking back to teachers and being mean to kids. I kept him on it anyway until after school was over last Spring. It is a short term medication meant to tide you over until your coping skills are in place is how I understand it (I could be wrong but that is how it worked for my difficult child).</p><p> </p><p>My difficult child is back to "normal" this morning. Being bored is easy for him to understand because it happens often enough for him to recognize and stay on top of. Last night he said he didn't feel tired and he does not get tired to this point often enough for him to remember that it is because of being tired. I would hope this will not happen often (he does work on getting enough sleep because his therapist told him he should) so when it does, it is like relearning about being overly tired.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 252017, member: 5096"] Thank you! I think the being mean may be worse because as Loth stated, it seems to be caused by anxiety. They are still being afraid but then also adds the striking out. I have been lucky in that I have been able for the most part to get my difficult child to see that it is anxiety. He understands that because of what he went through with it last year. A very deep undiagnosed anxiety which resulted in a psychiatric hospital stay which lead to coping tools that he himself was willing to implement. When he is bored, he has recognized his anxiety and knows to start his breathing exercises. He doesn't get overly tired very often like this past week (and once about 1 -2 months ago) so that is when he starts getting really fearful that he is dying. Every time he came to me last night, I pretty much pointed him to his bedroom, "You need rest. Go to bed early. I am positive you will feel better in the morning." I stick to my suggestion - I have learned that changing suggestions before the first one is tried is disaterous because he will push and push and push until I find a suggestion he likes. So, it is, "No, you do this first before we find another answer." Kjs - we have a psychiatrist who did exactly what difficult child needed him to do. He told difficult child that his anxiety was causing everything AND he allowed us to have the breathing, x-rays, EKG, lab work needed to prove there was nothing going on. The problem now is that was a year ago and difficult child last night asked if things could change in a year. I lied to him - I told him "No" I don't think difficult child would have conquered this without the psychiatric hospital. He couldn't handle it anymore so we went to the psychiatric hospital in person to ask for the evaluation. difficult child was so noticably upset when we walked through that door (he even threw up in the reception area) that they took us for the evaluation right away. So, maybe if you tried what we did - when your difficult child is in the midst of an intense episode of anxiety, walk him into the reception area of the nearest child's psychiatric hospital and ask for help (and hope he vomits!), "Can we get an evaluation? My son is very sick and we don't know what to do anymore. Can you offer any suggestions? Can you evaluation him to see if he meets criteria for your services?" The psychiatric hospital we went to happens to advertise about depression. They end their advertising with, "If you don't get help from us, please get help from somewhere!" It is a long road out of the deepest anxiety. The longer your difficult child digs himself in, the longer it will take to get out. He has to recognize this as anxiety being a bully and he has to fight back. He has to know that he can make this stop, he does have the power. Your difficult child's fears are so deep right now that I am not sure where you can start. I would recommend you looking into a stress eraser if you don't have one ([URL="http://www.stresseraser.com"]www.stresseraser.com[/URL]). If you can get him to use it on a daily basis it may help? My difficult child was allowed to use it at school when he felt a need for it. Also, contact a psychiatric hospital on your own to get info. My difficult child was on Flouxetine which was just right for him but I have picked up that it is not right for all kids. He also had a very low dose of Clonazepam which took the edge off of his fears but also contributed toward his inhibitiveness - he started talking back to teachers and being mean to kids. I kept him on it anyway until after school was over last Spring. It is a short term medication meant to tide you over until your coping skills are in place is how I understand it (I could be wrong but that is how it worked for my difficult child). My difficult child is back to "normal" this morning. Being bored is easy for him to understand because it happens often enough for him to recognize and stay on top of. Last night he said he didn't feel tired and he does not get tired to this point often enough for him to remember that it is because of being tired. I would hope this will not happen often (he does work on getting enough sleep because his therapist told him he should) so when it does, it is like relearning about being overly tired. [/QUOTE]
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