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Too much weirdness
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<blockquote data-quote="katya02" data-source="post: 189923" data-attributes="member: 2884"><p>I don't know that his destruction of the message board was aimed specifically at his sister - my impression was that he used the knife on things he probably thought were expendable. For example, there was an expensive saddle sitting right in the same area and he didn't touch that. He could have gone up to his sister's room and damaged things there if he was aiming the violence at her, but he didn't. To me it seemed more like a spur of the moment choice of something to destroy. He has poked holes/stabbed things since he was about seven years old. I used to find Kleenex boxes all poked to pieces, as well as other types of boxes; also fruits and vegetables. He'd hide the stuff he'd poked holes in under bathroom sinks or in clothes cupboards - I was always finding weird stuff. It used to make me despair, the constant weirdness. His docs, and he had many, never got a handle on these behaviors.</p><p></p><p>My daughter doesn't fear difficult child, but I never leave her alone with him. I can see difficult child being angry that we took her to Pittsburgh; after his last rage he spent several days assuring me that it had only been because he had missed his medications for a couple of days, and we could feel comfortable leaving her at home, in fact he would feel bad if we didn't think we could do that. This is another example of his weird thinking: after a rage in which he screamed in my face and threatened to punch me, he tells me we'll be making him feel bad if we take daughter with us! A total disconnect from reality.</p><p></p><p>I'd like a new psychiatrist but we live in a small town with exactly one psychiatrist. I could take difficult child to the nearest city but psychiatrists are in short supply there and waits are six months or longer. I think I will call Tuesday and give them a list of concerns, however - probably drop off a written list. difficult child is on medications this summer for the first time since he was 14. He's on Paxil and Luvox at max doses, and amitriptyline 25 mg for sleep. The antidepressants haven't tipped him into a manic episode (he was diagnosed early onset bipolar at one point, but it doesn't really fit). The Paxil has worked great for his panic attacks which were bad when he first came home and had no access to drugs. Whether the Luvox helps is debatable, but he has been more even-keeled on it than in the past few years. I keep his medications locked up at the psychiatrist's request and give him a weekly dosette. He still does weird things with the dosette though. </p><p></p><p>I think discussing things with the rehab people might be even more helpful than contacting the psychiatrist. They are very good, very realistic, and they can also contact the psychiatrist with concerns. He might listen to them more than to me. </p><p></p><p>I agree that difficult child needs to live somewhere else. We don't live like thugs (I hope that was hyperbole, witz) and I've warned both him and husband, who is still struggling with thinking that difficult child is going to kill himself, that I will have difficult child arrested the next time he acts in a threatening manner. I don't mean to make husband sound totally out to lunch; he was horrified by what we found today, including the 12 holes in the wall, and is processing the fact that difficult child is on his way out. I know that huffing could kill difficult child. I don't want to find him dead.</p><p></p><p>difficult child had a job at a farm market for a month this summer. They let him go two weeks ago, saying they didn't have enough hours for him. But he told me about some things he said and did there, such as crushing an apple in his hand, and an onion on another occasion, while saying something along the lines of 'I crush your head, ha ha ha!', that makes me sure they fired him due to his weird and scary behaviors. He told me he did this, thinking it was a joke! Sometimes he seems perfectly friendly, intelligent, and in control of what he does, and other times he seems either clueless or delusional. </p><p></p><p>Now difficult child has an interview this coming week for a good job, one that would use his education i.e. reading blueprints etc., and would pay about $20/hour, enough to actually get that apartment and also pay us back what he owes us (he has to reimburse us for his legal defence plus other fines etc from the past year). He has to get back to his college town at some point for a court date. He has to get to rehab. Our little town has no taxi service and no bus that comes near our place. I'm always stuck helping him out with things like transport, yet if I don't do it his life will fall apart very quickly - no rehab, no job possibilities. The court date I'm about ready to let go, and let them arrest him for not showing (it's 3 1/2 hours drive to his college town where the charges were filed). </p><p></p><p>This is too long ... I still find my thoughts ramble in circles. Sorry. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="katya02, post: 189923, member: 2884"] I don't know that his destruction of the message board was aimed specifically at his sister - my impression was that he used the knife on things he probably thought were expendable. For example, there was an expensive saddle sitting right in the same area and he didn't touch that. He could have gone up to his sister's room and damaged things there if he was aiming the violence at her, but he didn't. To me it seemed more like a spur of the moment choice of something to destroy. He has poked holes/stabbed things since he was about seven years old. I used to find Kleenex boxes all poked to pieces, as well as other types of boxes; also fruits and vegetables. He'd hide the stuff he'd poked holes in under bathroom sinks or in clothes cupboards - I was always finding weird stuff. It used to make me despair, the constant weirdness. His docs, and he had many, never got a handle on these behaviors. My daughter doesn't fear difficult child, but I never leave her alone with him. I can see difficult child being angry that we took her to Pittsburgh; after his last rage he spent several days assuring me that it had only been because he had missed his medications for a couple of days, and we could feel comfortable leaving her at home, in fact he would feel bad if we didn't think we could do that. This is another example of his weird thinking: after a rage in which he screamed in my face and threatened to punch me, he tells me we'll be making him feel bad if we take daughter with us! A total disconnect from reality. I'd like a new psychiatrist but we live in a small town with exactly one psychiatrist. I could take difficult child to the nearest city but psychiatrists are in short supply there and waits are six months or longer. I think I will call Tuesday and give them a list of concerns, however - probably drop off a written list. difficult child is on medications this summer for the first time since he was 14. He's on Paxil and Luvox at max doses, and amitriptyline 25 mg for sleep. The antidepressants haven't tipped him into a manic episode (he was diagnosed early onset bipolar at one point, but it doesn't really fit). The Paxil has worked great for his panic attacks which were bad when he first came home and had no access to drugs. Whether the Luvox helps is debatable, but he has been more even-keeled on it than in the past few years. I keep his medications locked up at the psychiatrist's request and give him a weekly dosette. He still does weird things with the dosette though. I think discussing things with the rehab people might be even more helpful than contacting the psychiatrist. They are very good, very realistic, and they can also contact the psychiatrist with concerns. He might listen to them more than to me. I agree that difficult child needs to live somewhere else. We don't live like thugs (I hope that was hyperbole, witz) and I've warned both him and husband, who is still struggling with thinking that difficult child is going to kill himself, that I will have difficult child arrested the next time he acts in a threatening manner. I don't mean to make husband sound totally out to lunch; he was horrified by what we found today, including the 12 holes in the wall, and is processing the fact that difficult child is on his way out. I know that huffing could kill difficult child. I don't want to find him dead. difficult child had a job at a farm market for a month this summer. They let him go two weeks ago, saying they didn't have enough hours for him. But he told me about some things he said and did there, such as crushing an apple in his hand, and an onion on another occasion, while saying something along the lines of 'I crush your head, ha ha ha!', that makes me sure they fired him due to his weird and scary behaviors. He told me he did this, thinking it was a joke! Sometimes he seems perfectly friendly, intelligent, and in control of what he does, and other times he seems either clueless or delusional. Now difficult child has an interview this coming week for a good job, one that would use his education i.e. reading blueprints etc., and would pay about $20/hour, enough to actually get that apartment and also pay us back what he owes us (he has to reimburse us for his legal defence plus other fines etc from the past year). He has to get back to his college town at some point for a court date. He has to get to rehab. Our little town has no taxi service and no bus that comes near our place. I'm always stuck helping him out with things like transport, yet if I don't do it his life will fall apart very quickly - no rehab, no job possibilities. The court date I'm about ready to let go, and let them arrest him for not showing (it's 3 1/2 hours drive to his college town where the charges were filed). This is too long ... I still find my thoughts ramble in circles. Sorry. :( [/QUOTE]
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