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Too much weirdness
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<blockquote data-quote="katya02" data-source="post: 190272" data-attributes="member: 2884"><p>Sigh ... had a long talk with husband. He listened but was too upset to commit to a final decision tonight. I think he sees the writing on the wall but needs a little time to process things. He can't get past the idea that difficult child has no way to support himself if we make him leave now. Also he comes from an ethnic background that pretty much infantilizes adult kids, keeps them home until they marry, and generally puts up with absolutely anything in the name of family. It's very hard for him to do something that goes against everything he internalized while growing up. I know that doesn't mean he shouldn't do it, but it's really a struggle.</p><p></p><p>Witz, your point is well taken - difficult child didn't hold onto a job at a fruit stand and he isn't preparing for his interview this week for a much more responsible, demanding job. To think that he's going to pay us back and save for an apartment with his current behavior is a pipe dream. I don't even know that he'll follow through and go to the interview.</p><p></p><p>I do draw the line at difficult child's current behaviors; they are not acceptable regardless of whether he's working or saving or whatever. He needs to see some real-life, adult consequences to his adult actions. I believe he needs to leave; it's husband who needs to see it. </p><p></p><p>I'm going to contact the psychiatrist tomorrow and fill him in, and I hope he evaluates difficult child for both drug use and psychotic thinking. I'm going to keep reality-checking husband. I wish there were a Nar-Anon group in this little town. There's only one Al-Anon meeting per week and husband is working that evening this week. I'm going to go, though.</p><p></p><p>Maybe husband is waiting for me to make it easier for him by forcing the issue and demanding that difficult child leave. That way the upset, and all ensuing consequences and catastrophes, can be all my fault. I'm just so sick of being the scapegoat that I want husband to step up and stand with me on this.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="katya02, post: 190272, member: 2884"] Sigh ... had a long talk with husband. He listened but was too upset to commit to a final decision tonight. I think he sees the writing on the wall but needs a little time to process things. He can't get past the idea that difficult child has no way to support himself if we make him leave now. Also he comes from an ethnic background that pretty much infantilizes adult kids, keeps them home until they marry, and generally puts up with absolutely anything in the name of family. It's very hard for him to do something that goes against everything he internalized while growing up. I know that doesn't mean he shouldn't do it, but it's really a struggle. Witz, your point is well taken - difficult child didn't hold onto a job at a fruit stand and he isn't preparing for his interview this week for a much more responsible, demanding job. To think that he's going to pay us back and save for an apartment with his current behavior is a pipe dream. I don't even know that he'll follow through and go to the interview. I do draw the line at difficult child's current behaviors; they are not acceptable regardless of whether he's working or saving or whatever. He needs to see some real-life, adult consequences to his adult actions. I believe he needs to leave; it's husband who needs to see it. I'm going to contact the psychiatrist tomorrow and fill him in, and I hope he evaluates difficult child for both drug use and psychotic thinking. I'm going to keep reality-checking husband. I wish there were a Nar-Anon group in this little town. There's only one Al-Anon meeting per week and husband is working that evening this week. I'm going to go, though. Maybe husband is waiting for me to make it easier for him by forcing the issue and demanding that difficult child leave. That way the upset, and all ensuing consequences and catastrophes, can be all my fault. I'm just so sick of being the scapegoat that I want husband to step up and stand with me on this. [/QUOTE]
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