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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 228401" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p><em>When I can take the easy way out with Tink, I do it.</em> </p><p></p><p> </p><p>Welllll ... you said it. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> </p><p>We all do that. And we have to undo it.</p><p>You've read <strong>The Manipulative Child</strong>, right? Basically, we all take the easy way. If my difficult child is screaming at me, sometimes it's easier to give in.</p><p>But, ooops, now he's going to think he will win every time he screams.</p><p>Wrong way to go.</p><p> </p><p>We can't spend our lives avoiding unpleasant behavioir. We have to tackle it.</p><p> </p><p>It's going to be hard. I would pick one thing, like dinner, and stick to it for a month or so. Make whatever you want for dinner, but include one side dish or something that you know she will eat so she won't starve. That way, you can just put the plate in front of her, and when she complains, tell her, "Well, that is what I made. Just eat what you like and leave the rest." Be very calm.</p><p>We go through it nearly every night, but as the months have gone on, it has gotten better. </p><p>Sometimes, when difficult child asks what we're having for dinner, I will not tell him and he will get upset, but my answer is, "You will complain no matter what I serve, so I'm not going to tell you. Go back into the other room and play."</p><p>Of course, he'll beg at that point. The instant he complains, he goes to his room.</p><p>We're pretty much over that part, at least.</p><p> </p><p>We've had to send difficult child to his rm several times with-no food at all because he was so obnoxious at the table. A cpl times I brought plain rice and a glass of water to his room. (He has to be hungry and calm or I will end up with-a plate being thrown at my head.) <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p>Still, that doesn't stop me from working on it. No one said it would be easy.</p><p>Best of luck.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 228401, member: 3419"] [I]When I can take the easy way out with Tink, I do it.[/I] Welllll ... you said it. :) We all do that. And we have to undo it. You've read [B]The Manipulative Child[/B], right? Basically, we all take the easy way. If my difficult child is screaming at me, sometimes it's easier to give in. But, ooops, now he's going to think he will win every time he screams. Wrong way to go. We can't spend our lives avoiding unpleasant behavioir. We have to tackle it. It's going to be hard. I would pick one thing, like dinner, and stick to it for a month or so. Make whatever you want for dinner, but include one side dish or something that you know she will eat so she won't starve. That way, you can just put the plate in front of her, and when she complains, tell her, "Well, that is what I made. Just eat what you like and leave the rest." Be very calm. We go through it nearly every night, but as the months have gone on, it has gotten better. Sometimes, when difficult child asks what we're having for dinner, I will not tell him and he will get upset, but my answer is, "You will complain no matter what I serve, so I'm not going to tell you. Go back into the other room and play." Of course, he'll beg at that point. The instant he complains, he goes to his room. We're pretty much over that part, at least. We've had to send difficult child to his rm several times with-no food at all because he was so obnoxious at the table. A cpl times I brought plain rice and a glass of water to his room. (He has to be hungry and calm or I will end up with-a plate being thrown at my head.) :) Still, that doesn't stop me from working on it. No one said it would be easy. Best of luck. [/QUOTE]
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