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<blockquote data-quote="Jena" data-source="post: 228424" data-attributes="member: 4514"><p>Hey don't go beating yourself up!! And by the way I lost my manual!! LOL <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /></p><p> </p><p>Anyhow, anything can be redone or reworked in my opinion, remember that. It takes time though. I as you did the same exact thing, than with the advice from everyone here (who clearly had the manual I didn't /JK) I was able to slowly gain back some "head of the household" as per my tax return status here. It's not easy and it does take time, alot of it.</p><p> </p><p>We do in a sense set the tone, and I know I've done the same ok honey you don't want that I'll give you this, blah blah to avoid the confrontation or in my case the anxiety from hitting sky high at certain points. Than I had to look in the mirror I was totally run down, bouncing off the walls, everyone and everything revolved somewhat around easy child and difficult child. Than slowly I started to regain control and i'm still working on it.</p><p> </p><p>I set some ground rules in place, not alot minimal for instance what I make for dinner is what I make, I can't always make your favorite there are other ppl. If you chose not to eat dinner that's fine, yet do not expect a snack later before bed. Just a small example. Her ds at bedtime, wow I almost got hit over that one. I'd let her use it at night it minimized my pain of bedtime bouncing yet i'd go to take it away and she almost hit me. Now ds goes on my dresser an hour before bedtime, you don't like it?? oh well, tha'Tourette's Syndrome the rules and tha'Tourette's Syndrome life. Seems cold hearted yet I had to do something I was running myself ragged, and she was getting away with murder.</p><p> </p><p>So, what I did was made a mental note of things that were important to me, that I felt she would just have to adapt to and deal with. I started small and I am slowly adding on things, once she adjusts to the rules I've now implemented. I think if you take it slow, and only go with things you absolutely refuse to compromise on than in time you'll get where you need to be.</p><p> </p><p>(((hugs))) i know it can be so rough, and confusing at times. We always question ourselves and say ok what do i do now, do i enforce this, is it worth it, etc.??</p><p> </p><p>Hope the new year starts off well for you guys. You've been doing a great job, don't sell yourself short, we can only do the best we can</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Jena, post: 228424, member: 4514"] Hey don't go beating yourself up!! And by the way I lost my manual!! LOL :( Anyhow, anything can be redone or reworked in my opinion, remember that. It takes time though. I as you did the same exact thing, than with the advice from everyone here (who clearly had the manual I didn't /JK) I was able to slowly gain back some "head of the household" as per my tax return status here. It's not easy and it does take time, alot of it. We do in a sense set the tone, and I know I've done the same ok honey you don't want that I'll give you this, blah blah to avoid the confrontation or in my case the anxiety from hitting sky high at certain points. Than I had to look in the mirror I was totally run down, bouncing off the walls, everyone and everything revolved somewhat around easy child and difficult child. Than slowly I started to regain control and i'm still working on it. I set some ground rules in place, not alot minimal for instance what I make for dinner is what I make, I can't always make your favorite there are other ppl. If you chose not to eat dinner that's fine, yet do not expect a snack later before bed. Just a small example. Her ds at bedtime, wow I almost got hit over that one. I'd let her use it at night it minimized my pain of bedtime bouncing yet i'd go to take it away and she almost hit me. Now ds goes on my dresser an hour before bedtime, you don't like it?? oh well, tha'Tourette's Syndrome the rules and tha'Tourette's Syndrome life. Seems cold hearted yet I had to do something I was running myself ragged, and she was getting away with murder. So, what I did was made a mental note of things that were important to me, that I felt she would just have to adapt to and deal with. I started small and I am slowly adding on things, once she adjusts to the rules I've now implemented. I think if you take it slow, and only go with things you absolutely refuse to compromise on than in time you'll get where you need to be. (((hugs))) i know it can be so rough, and confusing at times. We always question ourselves and say ok what do i do now, do i enforce this, is it worth it, etc.?? Hope the new year starts off well for you guys. You've been doing a great job, don't sell yourself short, we can only do the best we can [/QUOTE]
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