Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Too much?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="tiredmommy" data-source="post: 228434" data-attributes="member: 1722"><p>{{{Hugs}}} What did Maya Angelou say? "We did the best we could with what we knew and when we knew we did better." (or something like that)</p><p> </p><p>The thing with The Explosive Child/ basket theory is that you need to keep moving things from basket C to basket B to basket A in order to help the child develop appropriate behaviors. It's really not about giving in to avoid a meltdown. Just the opposite, in fact. You pick a few things that non-negotiable. Period. And a few things that are situational. And you don't worry about the rest. For now. When the child can handle the basket A stuff, then it's time to move some over from basket B. You then move something or a few things from basket C to basket B.</p><p> </p><p>My father gave me some very sage advice about Duckie and her behavior problems before he died; he told me that when a child challenges you that you must rise to that challenge every single time.</p><p> </p><p>Tink has to learn that you are the parent, you get to make the final decisions on everything simply because you are the person in your household that is ultimately responsible for everything. She can like it or not. Rage and carry on or not. Her choice.</p><p> </p><p>But believe me... you want to fight this battle now at age 8 rather than at 18. You will most likely lose any influence you have if you don't get ahead of her quickly. Try to remember that this has nothing to do with illnesses or conditions causing her behaviors, you are working toward the goal of her being able to not meltdown because she doesn't get her way.</p><p> </p><p>I know it sounds harsh, BBK, but that's not my intention. You are a great mother that has gone to great lengths to be the best possible parent to both your girls. And I have nothing but respect for you. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="tiredmommy, post: 228434, member: 1722"] {{{Hugs}}} What did Maya Angelou say? "We did the best we could with what we knew and when we knew we did better." (or something like that) The thing with The Explosive Child/ basket theory is that you need to keep moving things from basket C to basket B to basket A in order to help the child develop appropriate behaviors. It's really not about giving in to avoid a meltdown. Just the opposite, in fact. You pick a few things that non-negotiable. Period. And a few things that are situational. And you don't worry about the rest. For now. When the child can handle the basket A stuff, then it's time to move some over from basket B. You then move something or a few things from basket C to basket B. My father gave me some very sage advice about Duckie and her behavior problems before he died; he told me that when a child challenges you that you must rise to that challenge every single time. Tink has to learn that you are the parent, you get to make the final decisions on everything simply because you are the person in your household that is ultimately responsible for everything. She can like it or not. Rage and carry on or not. Her choice. But believe me... you want to fight this battle now at age 8 rather than at 18. You will most likely lose any influence you have if you don't get ahead of her quickly. Try to remember that this has nothing to do with illnesses or conditions causing her behaviors, you are working toward the goal of her being able to not meltdown because she doesn't get her way. I know it sounds harsh, BBK, but that's not my intention. You are a great mother that has gone to great lengths to be the best possible parent to both your girls. And I have nothing but respect for you. :) [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Too much?
Top